ORD Loh!

Written in Thailand 240306 1000Hrs:

Yes put these three alphabets together in this order and they will be the favourite alphabets of any NSF soldier. It's time to get on with civilian life and once again pursue your dreams whatever that me be. But there are strings attached, requirements you will have to fulfill in order to leave the army without any problems. Here is a list.

1) Clear IPPT
2) Clear 9 minute SOC
3) Clear unarmed combat course
4) Clear airborne jumps
5) Buy a new handphone
6) Get a girlfriend

Don't ask me where the last two came from but it seems to be happening everywhere in my company. People getting attached or reattached with girlfriends old or new sporting shining new handphones with pictures of them. Corney as it is it does show one thing, my company mates are starting to make preparations for their next phase in life. University applications, job hunting, or simply just deciding what to do after the army you name it, people are moving on. Even here in dreary Thailand people are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the last battalion mission just hours away.

All these developments begs the question, "what have I done to prepare myself for life after the army?" Sure I applied to the university, make a few inquires about job offers but to the observer my preparations might seem half hearted at best. Should I be worried? Yes Am I worried? Strangely no.

Looking inward I did ask myself why I was not worried despite my apparent lack of preparation. Was I so disinterested and ignorant about life? Then I began to worry, worried that I am not worried. The irony. But suddenly like an answer to my ramblings, a song by Jars of Clay came to mind.

There's more that rises in the morning then the sun
And more that shines in the night then just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

There is more to each day than just the passing of time, God is there everyday looking out for my every single need. The song goes on.

If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will see me through
If I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You

I am not perfect, but God has provided me with His promises to stand on, and His grace to fall back on. I being human can only do so much. But if I depend on God, I know I am being looked after.

Looking back at my 2 years in the army. My relationship with God has not been exactly rosy. I was just barely hanging on which is my only regret because I wasted 2 years whereby I could grow deeper and know God better instead of just treading water and not moving anywhere. But that does not mean God has not been faithful. He never failed to fulfill His promises and was never too slow to offer His grace and mercy everytime I fall. So what has changed? Nothing! I worship a God that stays the same no matter what and a God who saw it fit to make me His son and all the perks that entails. So should I worry? I think the answer speaks for itself.