I had a very good talk with Audrey on Sunday after church, the first after a very long time and our talk eventually came to issues in church and our Christian lives. We felt that there were certain things in church that weren't quite right, certain things taken to the extreme and where striking a balance is critical. Yes, I know I am sounding ambiguous but what was shared was between me and her, and until we both agree to share the details I guess I will have to keep you in suspense.
The reason I brought this up is because we have decided to do something and start the ball rolling. I know my friends in church, they are good people and have been a good influence in my life. What disturbs me is that they tend to take what the church leadership says unquestionably and at face value. Now don't get me wrong here, I too respect the church leadership and RCC has been good to me ever since I moved there 2 years ago. In fact, my friends in RCC set me right on a lot of things that were wrong in my life whether they know it or not.
RCC means a lot to me, and I fear that if I were to do something in accordance with my spiritual conviction but contrary to the church's so called "manifesto" I would be branded as a rouge or a rebel of sorts which is not what I am trying to be. It is the culture of unquestioned leadership that I fear. Right now I guess we are doing fine but what happens if all the "what ifs" become reality? What if we get bad leadership? Does the culture of unquestioned leadership changed or do we just follow like drones?
I guess I have developed a growing frustration of what I call "assembly line Christianity" where we work the way we are made to work, having no spiritual will of our own. Just because this pastor says this so it has to be true. Just because my leader gave me this advice then it has to be followed. Even the apostle Paul encouraged people reading his epistles to test his teachings against the Word of God and challenged them not to take it at face value. I can only pray that more people will rise to Paul's challenge
Friday, August 25, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
Perspective
Aptly titled "Forced Perspective", get it? My blog getsomeperspective? Hahaha! It gives you a "unique" view about things happening in the middle east. The ultimate in sarcarsm.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Invention
My computer broke down on Tuesday, some virus or something. So I sent it for repair expecting to get it back by the next day but I was wrong. I got my back 3 days later. And I suffered in those 3 days. I couldn't play my games, I couldn't check my email, I couldn't chat with my friends on MSN and I couldn't update this blog! All I could do was watch TV and the only thing on was Singapore Idol!!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!! THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!
For 2 days I watched Gurmit Singh and Daniel Ong (The hosts of the show and very poor hosts at that) desperately reminding Singaporeans that Singapore Idol was a singing competition. And that voters should vote for who they thought was the best singer. But alas their efforts went to waste when a very vocally talented singer (Matilda) got voted off, and this despite her consistently good performances, continuously good feedback from the judges and the fact that according to Flo (1 of the Idol judges), Matilda had no competition vocally. Singing competition or popularity contest? Hmm...
Anyway back to subject, I was lost without my computer. Which really highlighted my dependence on technology, I would be in sorry shape without my handphone and I would hardly survive a 1 hour bus ride without my mp3 player. Hell I even have a PDA with an electronic Bible installed. There is no doubt in my mind that all these new inventions make our life easier, but maybe it is too much of a good thing. In the near future, I reckon that we would allow computers to control everything from nuclear missiles to washing machines. These computers will link together, attain sentience and decide to eradicate the human race... hmm, think I got that idea from a movie. Sounds a bit Terminator(ish).
A wise man once said that we are, "victims of our own inventions". We should listen to him, he has a point.
For 2 days I watched Gurmit Singh and Daniel Ong (The hosts of the show and very poor hosts at that) desperately reminding Singaporeans that Singapore Idol was a singing competition. And that voters should vote for who they thought was the best singer. But alas their efforts went to waste when a very vocally talented singer (Matilda) got voted off, and this despite her consistently good performances, continuously good feedback from the judges and the fact that according to Flo (1 of the Idol judges), Matilda had no competition vocally. Singing competition or popularity contest? Hmm...
Anyway back to subject, I was lost without my computer. Which really highlighted my dependence on technology, I would be in sorry shape without my handphone and I would hardly survive a 1 hour bus ride without my mp3 player. Hell I even have a PDA with an electronic Bible installed. There is no doubt in my mind that all these new inventions make our life easier, but maybe it is too much of a good thing. In the near future, I reckon that we would allow computers to control everything from nuclear missiles to washing machines. These computers will link together, attain sentience and decide to eradicate the human race... hmm, think I got that idea from a movie. Sounds a bit Terminator(ish).
A wise man once said that we are, "victims of our own inventions". We should listen to him, he has a point.
My First Week
I entered this week with a bit of excitement and trepidation. I went for my first day of work on monday totally not knowing what to expect. But my fears were quickly laid to rest when I met my boss and the people who I will soon call my colleagues. I really thank God for guiding me to making the decision to take up this job offer and not be swept up by what the world defines as a "career." People were calling me crazy for rejecting a $1700 a month job for something $300 lower. Maybe I am.
I took to my new boss and colleagues very well. They were very nice to me and taught me the skills of the trade with the utmost patience. Later I found out that most of my colleagues including my boss who owns the company are christian. There is no feeling of stress, no pressure to learn quickly and perform, I don't come home from work all shagged out but still have energy to do other things like run, shop all play my computer games.
My greatest fear was that my job will become really monotonous really fast but so far that has not happened after one week. Perhaps because everything seems fresh and new to me so I pray that the freshness of the job stays. But still I thank God for guiding me to this job.
I took to my new boss and colleagues very well. They were very nice to me and taught me the skills of the trade with the utmost patience. Later I found out that most of my colleagues including my boss who owns the company are christian. There is no feeling of stress, no pressure to learn quickly and perform, I don't come home from work all shagged out but still have energy to do other things like run, shop all play my computer games.
My greatest fear was that my job will become really monotonous really fast but so far that has not happened after one week. Perhaps because everything seems fresh and new to me so I pray that the freshness of the job stays. But still I thank God for guiding me to this job.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Mr. Eugene
Yes! I have left the army. It is now Mr. Eugene and not CPL Eugene. Time to ask God what is the next step, time to seek His divine guidance. In doing so I asked myself a few questions, how did I get to where I am? How did God guide me here, to this point in my life? I couldn't come up with the answer. It is trail and error? Am I complying with His plan in my life? Questions I lost a good amount of sleep over.
Well I don't have a technical answer, but there is an experience I think I should share. I had a lot of difficulty in my job hunt, not that there were no jobs, the economy is booming and everybody is hiring. The difficulty I had was this, I felt that I really had to factor God in the decisions I was making. I went for quite a few job interviews and there were even some who tried to hire me on the spot. The pay, benefits and hours were good but something felt wrong.
But there was this one interview I went to where everything felt right. It is a small company with a small staff, it will hardly make a blip on Singapore's GDP. Although it is a sucessful company holding its own but it will hardly turnover the billions of dollars like the MNCs of the world does. Whats more, there was also nothing remarkable about the time I spent there for the interview, no burning bush to tell me, "THOU SHALL WORK IN THIS COMPANY!" nothing, save this feeling and urging in my heart to accept the position.
But being human, I held out for better offers not wanting to shortchange myself and better offers came. Had I not factored God into my decision I might have gone for those offers, but something held me back. Since I accepted the position I sense this peace, there is something in my heart telling me that I have made the right choice. Although I am no closer to finding out how God guides me through my life I know for certain that in this particular situation He did guide me to make the right choice.
Well I don't have a technical answer, but there is an experience I think I should share. I had a lot of difficulty in my job hunt, not that there were no jobs, the economy is booming and everybody is hiring. The difficulty I had was this, I felt that I really had to factor God in the decisions I was making. I went for quite a few job interviews and there were even some who tried to hire me on the spot. The pay, benefits and hours were good but something felt wrong.
But there was this one interview I went to where everything felt right. It is a small company with a small staff, it will hardly make a blip on Singapore's GDP. Although it is a sucessful company holding its own but it will hardly turnover the billions of dollars like the MNCs of the world does. Whats more, there was also nothing remarkable about the time I spent there for the interview, no burning bush to tell me, "THOU SHALL WORK IN THIS COMPANY!" nothing, save this feeling and urging in my heart to accept the position.
But being human, I held out for better offers not wanting to shortchange myself and better offers came. Had I not factored God into my decision I might have gone for those offers, but something held me back. Since I accepted the position I sense this peace, there is something in my heart telling me that I have made the right choice. Although I am no closer to finding out how God guides me through my life I know for certain that in this particular situation He did guide me to make the right choice.
Friday, August 04, 2006
War Mathematics
War, war never changes. There are lots of factors when waging a war. Size of your army, equipment, capabilities, amount of training blar blar blar. Although each war is unique, it almost always goes by a certain formula, a formula so precise it is almost mathematical in nature. And if you were to look at a war through the lens of its formula, it might give you a very different picture than what you are seeing in the news today.
Take for example the conflict in Lebanon, when the capture of two Israeli soldiers did not add up to a prisoner exchange but an invasion. When bombing Lebanon did not add up to a stop or even a slow down in missile attacks in Israel but instead an escalation in the very attacks Israel is trying so hard to stop. What it added up to instead is hundreds of civilian deaths and much sorrow and misery for the people of both sides of the conflict.
Another good example was the war in Iraq. A "just" war which was suppose to "free" the Iraqi people and give them a better way of life instead added up to suffering for the Iraqi people and grieving families in the US. It added up to parents having to bury their children for what looked like a war based on false pretenses, lies and a trigger happy president with an axe to grind you know who. It has lead to moral decay for people personally involved in the war, the Abu Graib scandal being a good example.
The formula I am talking about is the human factor. War is very different when you look at it with your humanity instead of looking at it through tanks, planes and ships or the illusion of "who is right and who is wrong". It suddenly doesn't seem so fun or cool anymore when things go "boom" because when things go "boom", people die. When people die, other people will swear vengence, some of these "other people" will strap themselves with bombs and go "boom" taking more people along with them. Its a vicious cycle.
So the next time when waging war, I suggest we do the math and put the human factor into the equation.
Take for example the conflict in Lebanon, when the capture of two Israeli soldiers did not add up to a prisoner exchange but an invasion. When bombing Lebanon did not add up to a stop or even a slow down in missile attacks in Israel but instead an escalation in the very attacks Israel is trying so hard to stop. What it added up to instead is hundreds of civilian deaths and much sorrow and misery for the people of both sides of the conflict.
Another good example was the war in Iraq. A "just" war which was suppose to "free" the Iraqi people and give them a better way of life instead added up to suffering for the Iraqi people and grieving families in the US. It added up to parents having to bury their children for what looked like a war based on false pretenses, lies and a trigger happy president with an axe to grind you know who. It has lead to moral decay for people personally involved in the war, the Abu Graib scandal being a good example.
The formula I am talking about is the human factor. War is very different when you look at it with your humanity instead of looking at it through tanks, planes and ships or the illusion of "who is right and who is wrong". It suddenly doesn't seem so fun or cool anymore when things go "boom" because when things go "boom", people die. When people die, other people will swear vengence, some of these "other people" will strap themselves with bombs and go "boom" taking more people along with them. Its a vicious cycle.
So the next time when waging war, I suggest we do the math and put the human factor into the equation.
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