Bittersweet

God has been good to me in 2006. ORD loh! Found a stable job, stable finances and looking for opportunities to further my studies. Now that it is the end of the year, I look back at 2006 and I am blessed and content.

But this was the year in which I have learnt a sad and bitter lesson. Despite all the good things happening to me on the surface, I have never felt more alone. When faced with one's problems, one is truly and utterly alone. No friends or companions will be able to help you because you alone make the decisions on what solutions to take on your problems and you alone and will either enjoy the benefits or suffer the conseqences of your actions.

I have always thought that it is the norm to have a group of friends or just a friend that you will treasure who will never think twice to help you out in your time of need. But this year, I have found my friendships useless, not because they are not willing to help but because they can't. They are human too, with limitations and flaws. It was a hard and bitter pill to swallow, I have come to accept that my view of friendship is flawed and I only ever needed just one companion in life. God Himself.

Taking this lesson to heart, the changes are quite visible (at least to me). I have learnt to live and let live, accepting that people will come and go in your life. We will draw close, drift apart and perhaps never see each other again. I also seemed to have become more decisive, making decisions with less consideration about what others might think. And perhaps, this lesson when taken to heart will increase my dependance on God. I do hope that is the case.

Blessed new year!