Marriage?!

I was having dinner with a close army friend yesterday. We had a good time catching up with each other sharing with each other about our lives after the army. The talk eventually fell on marriage. I told him I was planning my life on the assumption that I was never going to get married and he responded saying, "dunno leh, this kind of thing very hard to say one leh." I agree with him but still saw no harm in planning my life the way I am doing. A wise man once said, "plan like Jesus is never going to come, live like He is coming tomorrow."

Unlike most of my peers, whether Christian or not. I do not believe in the romantic notion of love. Put it simply I do not believe in romance. To me, there is no such thing as a "one true love" whom you are destined to meet, no "princess charming" that I am suppose to fight dragons for and rescue from a tower and I most definitely do not believe that God has made someone special out there with you in mind (that is the most ridiculous statement yet).

Don't get me wrong, I do believe in love. The apostle Paul said that love is the greatest thing of all. Love is the very essence of my Christian faith, it is what drew me to Christianity in the first place. But we must be very careful not to associate love with romance. I believe that when two people love each other so much that they are willing to commit to the vows of marriage with each other, God will bless and honour that vow. If the vow is broken in any way, the vow breaker/s will be held accountable, plain and simple. And if you choose not to take such a vow, God will bless you too and respect your decision.

In every marriage there are sacrifices to be made, compromises to be reached, quarrels to be settled, expectations to meet, responsibilities to fulfil and last but not least, ang pows to give away every chinese new year :). It takes COMMITMENT and EFFORT to make a marriage work, those two words are sadly lacking in almost half the marriages of today that end up in divorce.

With all that I have said, marriage doesn't sound so attractive anymore right? Well I guess that is where love comes in. If you love your "significant other" enough to put up with all that crap then by all means go ahead and get married. Romance does not sustain a marriage, love does. Do not think for a second that your marriage will take care of itself because you guys are "specially made for one another" and "destined to meet." There is not such thing, it is just philosopical crap from the Romantics of the 18th century.

So if you think that love is the product of destiny and fate, maybe you should take romance out of the equation and think again. You will find that it is the product of commitment and effort, much like our relationship with Christ. You might argue that these are two different kinds of love but I can assure you that it takes the same ingredients to make it work.