Stuck

I was stuck in the Jakarta airport for about 5 hours last friday because of the flood. Nearly did not make it for my cell group's "reunion dinner" back in Singapore even. In fact, I called my cell group leader and told him that I might not be able to make it and he said, "nevermind, we will pray." Well the prayer worked and I ended up being the first one there.

There is much not to like about Jakarta, the city floods at a mere sight of a drizzle, the traffic jams are the worst I have ever seen and don't get me started on the police and the authorities there cause I might say something I might regret. But still, I feel that I have learnt a most precious lesson there.

Jakarta is a REAL city with REAL problems. While we Singaporeans make a big fuss about how some "major" MRT hiccup got us to work late, the people in Jakarta sometimes drive for hours everyday throught jam after jam just to get to work and add to that the frequent floods, roads inaccessible, poor air quality and a flawed public transport system. Even the president's motorcade was not spared from the floods on friday.

I have learnt to except the city for what it is and not what it should be. During my time spent there, I can almost feel it saying, "take me for what I am, if not get lost." Jakarta makes no illusion about what it is, there is no image or facade it must uphold. It is honest.

It is such an honesty I feel is lacking in my christian life, I lack the courage to display my imperfections to people or to tell them something is wrong in my life. I lack the guts to share about my failing convictions, about the lines I have drawn between right and wrong blurring and about the increasing difficulty I have practising the teachings of God in this fallen world. I am sick of the image I must maintain just because I am christian. I AM HUMAN!!! I AM FLAWED!!! Why don't people just get it?

I feel as though I have sinned just solely on the account of being human and displaying my human traits because I am judged by a higher standard. But even with the help of Christ I am bound to stumble sometimes. If you are not inclined to give me a listening ear then at least give me a break.