Hope

Just an update on the job front. I found one! And it is rather near my house as well... and it is a five day week job, so now my Saturdays are free. But truth be told, I am actually quite surprised that I got the job because I felt that I did not do very well in the interview and the job scope is quite different from my present job so my experience doesn't really apply to the position they had open.

But they were willing to give me a chance to take on the challenge. That means that I am once again out of my comfort zone. This will hopefully give me opportunities to learn and let God more into my life.

So, barring any surprises I should be starting on it next month after my reservist training. I really have to thank God for this small mercy because I really did not want to idle around unemployed after my reservist training and He has really came through for me by getting me this job. Now I pray that I am up to the challenge.

In Camp

I will have me reservist training next week, so might not be able to blog then. In to get back in shape soon. In these two years of civilian life, I have been getting lazy, fat and slow. So I guess next month it would be one down six more cycles to go. Eat that infantry!!! hahahahahaha!!!

Just So You Know

When I told people that I have resigned and the reason for doing so, some people just assume that just because I dared to do it, I had a backup plan. They say things like, "Aiyah, cause you got money wat, can do wat you want..." or "you young wat, got no obligations..." or worse of all "I not as "siao sa" (Chinese for suave and daring, I think) as you, say leave means leave."

Let me first say that I got no backup plan, no lack of obligations and least of all not "siao sa." If I was "siao sa", wouldn't girls be all over me now? :) And I am definitely definitely not rich. If I was rich, I would not be working in the first place to save money for my further studies. As far as I am concerned, those comments are the most idiotic I have ever heard.

It was a huge struggle to quit, it took monumental effort to make my stand and to go against my "better earthly judgment" and the urge to look after my rice bowl. I am scared about what is going to happen after all this. I am concerned, worried and I have no idea what I am going to do next. All I know despite everything is that it just had to be done and it was bloody difficult doing it. So please do not cheapen my efforts with your idiotic comments.

On the flip side, my family and cell group has been supportive. My grandmother who was initially opposed to me resigning told me recently that it was the better choice, my mum showed me her typical silent support. I guess she is convince that I know what I am doing and that God is somehow guiding me. My cell group has been praying for me and the level of concern they have showed me is astounding. If you are reading this blog, Thanks guys! I guess I just have to seek God and His love will erase every fear.

So in conclusion, I am truly thankful to all of the people who have been supportive of my decision and I thank God for putting all of you in my life. But to those few people who made those idiotic comments, you can call me stupid, dumb, stone cold nuts or whatever expletive you can think of. I can take all of that, but keep those idiotic comments to yourself. I don't suffer fools gladly.

The Beachcomber

Lead me to the sand and sea
Sit awhile beside and I won't mind
Wait until the tide has turned
To see what's left behind

Then I'll search for things to save
Wake me if I'm dreaming
And If all I've planned starts
Streaming through my fingers
Out of hand... grain of sand.

Let the man that I'll become
Dare to walk the shoreline
and to ride the wave
Let the ocean show its might
But leave me feeling brave

When all else is washed from sight
Wake me if I'm dreaming
And If all I've planned starts
Streaming through my fingers
Out of hand... grain of sand.

Never let me hide away
In caves and shun the light of day
Let the waters gently steer
Me to my moorings far from fear
So I might come to comb this beach
Seeing what my eye can reach
And knowing that a heart can open here

Lead me to the sand and sea
Sit awhile beside and I won't mind
Wait until the tide has turned
To see what's left behind

Mike Mcgurk

No Turning Back

Yup, I have resigned. The last day will be near the end of this month. Guessing I will not be travelling abroad for work in at least the next few months and I definitely will not miss Jakarta, horrible place. I like to define Jakarta as a teacher I love to hate in school. I would love to forget her but her lessons are important and applicable and her influence on me, undeniable.

My job as a whole has also taught me about how the world at large works and taught me a little about myself also. When I told some of my friends and family that I resigned and the reason I did so, they all said that I should at least get a new job first before I resign. Well that would be the logical thing to do wouldn't it? Well I guess then I am not that logical... at least with regards to this matter. I want to enjoy my work and be able to sleep peacefully at night and not worry because my work has run foul of the law, whether it is God's laws or the laws of any country.

I guess that is more important than any salary or position because ultimately it is not my boss I am accountable to. It is God. So, whether I made the right decision or not is still up for debate. After tendering my resignation I felt a certain peace and my burdens lifted from me and recent events in my company has convinced me more and more that it is the correct choice. But the most important question remains...

Did I do what God wanted me to do?

Guess I will never know until the end but one thing is for sure. There is no turning back now.