Cell Group Muscial Chairs

They say that change is the only constant in this world. I lost my faith in cell groups for a time, I thought that they were a waste of time quite honestly, I thought that they were just a social exercise. "Calvary" (which is my current cell group) restored my faith in cell groups. I found myself being able to contribute and draw strength from the experiences of my cell group mates who thankfully don't give "model answers" to questions posed to them. If I wanted "model answers" I have the Bible for that.

But I would be a fool to think such an arrangement would last. Things change and we must change with it. But will my new cell group be good for me? Is this a change for the better? My feelings are mixed to be honest. I feel apprehensive most of all, my better judgment is pulling me back. But I think I know better than to trust my better judgment ;) and since I can't see beyond the way things seem to be. We shall see.

The New Job

I know an update about my new job is on the cards, I just wanted some time to pass on my new job in order to form an opinion I can share. Things are pretty much going well in the office. I have helpful colleagues, a good working environment and a healthy pace of working. I am also cycling to work now on a bike I just bought and in case those bike fanatics are wondering... I bought a Cannondale. I figured that it will save me money in the long run, as long as my working place remains in the east area.

That being said, I am really out of my comfort zone here. Although I welcome the relative "desk-boundness" of the job (it is a good change for now), everything is still quite alien to me. I have never worked in a big office context before. Everybody seems to have their own specific roles whereas in my old job, I did everything. So when I have done my part of a job, handing it over to another person makes me feel uneasy, like the job is incomplete. So I guess it is something I have to adjust to and improve my people to people relations because now I need other people's help to get the job done.

And that is just one of the many things I have to get used to, it would take time but God-willing, I will be able to see it through. Really taking it as a learning experience. Oh and by the way, in case anybody is scoffing at me because I welcome a desk-bound job now, let me just say that 2 years of extreme travelling would make anybody want a desk-bound job. I want to give this job time, I believe God has something planned for me here. Maybe in the future I might just want to satisfy my wanderlust again, who knows? :)

Now And Then

Now and then behind the rows
Of pearly teeth and fashion clothes
She sees them in the mirror-tiles
Trying on their latest smiles
Light and warmth from spotlight beams
Convincing them their nightmare is a dream

Now and then when they're at rest
Flocked in sleep in cuckoos' nests
Feeling safe no need to hide
She opens doors and windows wide
And poised upon her painted claws
She stretches out her gaudy wings and soars

Far away
Borne by the wind
She roams the sky
No one to say ... too low ... to high
Or count the lonely miles that she has flown
This world is hers alone

But then again behind the rows
She feels the piercing looks of those
Who watch her every move in case
She happens to forget her place
Who sum her up ... deny her flight
Aim their words and shoot her down on sight

Far away
Borne by the wind
She roams the sky
No one to say ... too low ... too high
Or count the lonely miles that she has flown
This world is hers alone

Silje Nergaard

My Place

I would be lying if I said that recent events in my church have not affected my faith. But I guess it depends on what you based your faith on. Although I am critical of the institution we call the church, I take no pleasure in seeing it crumble. Especially if it crumbles at the very hands of the christians supporting it.

Whatever it is, I place my faith in God that He will not fail me. I know that my place is in the church, the support for my calling is also in the church. Despite my misgivings about the church there is no denying that God is in it, working to improve it and calling me to contribute. My place right now is at RCC.

I will not judge those who decide to leave, some of them are my close friends and they have my full support. The rabbi Gamaliel taught me a very good and simple lesson, that if something is of human origin, it will fail. If it is from God, whatever you do will not stop them. So I will not try to stop them, in fact I wish them all the best. For me, friendships transcend even church loyalties.

I want to keep my faith simple, I do not want whatever church politics and human elements to complicate the matter. In the words of DC-Talk,

" To see Thee more clearly, to love Thee more dearly, to follow Thee more nearly"

That is my desire. If God wants me to move, He himself will tell me. My faith in Him is all that guides me. It has not failed me so far, the results speaks for itself if you have read my previous posts.

But enough of this bullshit, I think we have wasted enough time in this matter. It is time to move on and work towards the fulfillment of God's plan, itsn't that what the church is all about?

Reservist

There is an attitude that my CSM during my NS days always tried to cultivate in us. It is called the "do it once, do it good" attitude. When shit is thrown at you, you can bitch and moan about how you dislike it. But at the end of the day as long as you suck it up and do it well, it will not bother you again or at least for a time and you only have to do it once. Instead of mucking about or trying to avoid it, in which case it will not stop bothering you.

I think this applies for the in-camp training I just had and the ones to follow in the years to come. Going back to the commandos was a reality check for me and most of my mates. My perception of reservist is having IPPT, some light outfield and some refresher training and boy was I wrong. But come to think of it, it is the commandos... how easy do I think it was going to get?

But putting all that into perspective, I have seen the utter professionalism of my company mates and especially my team mates. Although they are doing things that they dislike, they still made the effort to contribute and do it well. Each time I am with them in the field, what I learnt much much more than what I contributed and I really do admire and applaud them for that. Thanks for the memories guys! Until we meet again!

click on the picture for a clearer view