My initial focus when I first got out of the army was to get a job, stabilize my income and try to look after myself financially. Enjoying my job and not being a burden to others was my main aim. But now, things have changed. Things are not going well economically and good jobs are few and far between. I now feel that there is less of a point pursuing a stable career now for a guy my age because the pay off will not be there during these tough times.
I feel blessed that I now have a stable job and income, a loving and caring family and a girlfriend who loves and cares about me. I acknowledge that there are many others that are worse off. But with that said, I now feel compelled to take my degree course. A bachelor's in electronics engineering to me exact, I remember making an enquiry on the same course about two and a half years ago only to find out that I lack the job experience needed for the course at that time. Now, having fulfilled the minimum criteria, I have made the decision to enrol.
Of course, it is still early days yet and success of my enrollment is subject to certain things beyond my control. Things like bank study loans and acceptance by the university etc... But I must think about what is involved. I am prepared to make the commitment and do whatever necessary to complete the course but I must think about others who will be inevitably affected by my commitment. For example, I might not be able to contribute as much money to my family as before. Time management would also be an issue as a huge chunk of my time will be devoted to my studies (this one girlfriend must understand... lol!!!) and etc...
I must admit that 3 years of mixing it up in the job market has left me without the drive to study, but I feel I have to bite the bullet because I believe nobody can doubt the necessity of education. Sure there are risks involved, the financial undertaking is huge and there are always unforeseen consequences, but life was never meant to be comfortable for too long. My only prayer is that my loved ones will understand and bear with me in the coming 2 - 3 years to come. The free lunches stop here, the real work begins now.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Fundamentals
Okay I know the title is a bit cryptic but if you guys are observant, you just might get it. It has been a crazy few months, I have changed my job, invested in a small business and I even struck 4D! Ha ha ha! The fundamentals of my life has changed dramatically, my day to day schedule has begun settling down to a new routine and I relish the new challenges that comes with this new job and life.
With these changes come new obstacles, chances and new relationships as well. Dynamics of old relationships will be changed too, an unavoidable fact of life. It is strange and disorienting to see your close friends turn to total strangers and vice versa when you make changes to your life. Should I allow the change? Or hold fast to old loyalties even if some of them has become destructive? Well I guess when deciding things like that we need God's guidance. Some people are meant to stay with you for a season while others are meant to stay with you for life.
And of course, with all changes there will be friction and strains in relationships. Maybe because my friends think that i am making mistakes in my decisions or doing something wrong and are angry at me for being so dumb. In the mists of that, hurtful and unnecessary things are said and stupid things are done. All I have to say is this. I have recently been on the receiving end of a very hurtful comment and a foolish thing was done without my prior knowledge that affected me very personally. All these were done by friends that I did not expect would do or say stuff like that. It hurts, it really does.
No doubt my friends are well meaning enough to show their concern but come on guys, I don't need you to tell me what I should do. I just need your support. If anything, just showing your support would take less effort than the things you guys have done so far so I am sure it is not too much to ask. No judgements, no lectures, just friendship, that is all I ask
With these changes come new obstacles, chances and new relationships as well. Dynamics of old relationships will be changed too, an unavoidable fact of life. It is strange and disorienting to see your close friends turn to total strangers and vice versa when you make changes to your life. Should I allow the change? Or hold fast to old loyalties even if some of them has become destructive? Well I guess when deciding things like that we need God's guidance. Some people are meant to stay with you for a season while others are meant to stay with you for life.
And of course, with all changes there will be friction and strains in relationships. Maybe because my friends think that i am making mistakes in my decisions or doing something wrong and are angry at me for being so dumb. In the mists of that, hurtful and unnecessary things are said and stupid things are done. All I have to say is this. I have recently been on the receiving end of a very hurtful comment and a foolish thing was done without my prior knowledge that affected me very personally. All these were done by friends that I did not expect would do or say stuff like that. It hurts, it really does.
No doubt my friends are well meaning enough to show their concern but come on guys, I don't need you to tell me what I should do. I just need your support. If anything, just showing your support would take less effort than the things you guys have done so far so I am sure it is not too much to ask. No judgements, no lectures, just friendship, that is all I ask
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