The Good Friday season never fails to remind us that we were bought over by God at a hefty price. Each of us carries a price tag around our necks not containing a moneytary amount represented by dollars and cents but a price tag that is simply labelled "The blood of the Lamb." If you ask me I would us that we were overpriced, far too expensive and not worthwhile to buy, but God was moved by His unconditional love to actually pay the price and bought us over.
I never seem to be able to grasp that fact of the price God paid for me so wretched a sinner but on this good friday a thought occured to me that did not occur to me previously. Each time when my family has dinner together we say grace as all christians do. But as I sat at the table and prepared myself for the customary grace before dinner one day, I felt that I had more to thank God for than the food on the table. As I think back, I got reminded that saying grace before dinner was not exactly a custom in my family just 1 or 2 years back when I was the only christian in my family.
But now I thank God for the fact that I can now say grace for the food at the dinner table together with my family who are all now saved by the saving grace of Christ. And all these because of a saviour who died on the cross for me, my family and the rest of the world. Saying grace at the dinner table will never be the same again.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
That is the question
Written in Thailand 010406 2240Hrs
During my final week in Thailand, I had a lot of reading time. So besides cramming my head for the Passover research I am doing with Dominic I have been reading a book written by Philip Yancey titled "I was just wondering." The book contained a selection of past articles he had written for the magazine called "Christianity Today." In the book, Philip touched on today's social, moral and religious problems but he does not seek to provide a solution or an answer to it. He only asks more questions. Reading the book I wondered whether it was wise to add more questions in what is already a growing melting pod of sociatal woes yet I found the book strangely insightful and a delightful read. It gives you the feeling that someone has the answers if only we know who look for.
So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? In the book "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a race of super advanced trans-dimensional beings tried to find the answer to "Life, Universe and Everything." To that effect they spend a huge amount of resources and time to build a super duper computer to compute the answer, they called it Deep Thought. After five million years of computing for an answer, Deep Thought came up with an answer that totally did not make sense. When asked about the answer, Deep Thought said that the answer did not make sense because they did not have the question in the first place.
I guess there is a moral to that story. So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? Is the question just as important as the answer? Answers can be wrong, but the only wrong question is the one you don't ask. Wisest is he who knows that he does not know. Should we ask more questions? I was just wondering.
During my final week in Thailand, I had a lot of reading time. So besides cramming my head for the Passover research I am doing with Dominic I have been reading a book written by Philip Yancey titled "I was just wondering." The book contained a selection of past articles he had written for the magazine called "Christianity Today." In the book, Philip touched on today's social, moral and religious problems but he does not seek to provide a solution or an answer to it. He only asks more questions. Reading the book I wondered whether it was wise to add more questions in what is already a growing melting pod of sociatal woes yet I found the book strangely insightful and a delightful read. It gives you the feeling that someone has the answers if only we know who look for.
So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? In the book "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a race of super advanced trans-dimensional beings tried to find the answer to "Life, Universe and Everything." To that effect they spend a huge amount of resources and time to build a super duper computer to compute the answer, they called it Deep Thought. After five million years of computing for an answer, Deep Thought came up with an answer that totally did not make sense. When asked about the answer, Deep Thought said that the answer did not make sense because they did not have the question in the first place.
I guess there is a moral to that story. So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? Is the question just as important as the answer? Answers can be wrong, but the only wrong question is the one you don't ask. Wisest is he who knows that he does not know. Should we ask more questions? I was just wondering.
Job
Written in Thailand 250306 2025Hrs:
There has been a rather anti-climatic end to my ATEC in Thailand. During our final battalion mission, one company was moving through a cultivated plot of land, which we do all the time. The farmer of the land thought they were thieves or something took out a shotgun and shot them, wounding 2 people in the process. As a result, the entire exercise was scraped and everybody headed back to camp.
Now the future is uncertain, rightfully we were suppose to finish our ATEC in Thailand and come back to Singapore happily having a sense of pride that all our hard work paid off. But as it is we are left hanging. Some say that we will redo the exercise back in Singapore, others say that we will just extract the results from the missions we have performed thus far. But now it seems to me that all the hard work put into this current ATEC in Thailand is being called into question. An undeserved fate to say the least.
Coincidentally, I have been doing a study on Job who also, due to circumstances beyond his control did not get what he deserved. He in fact came off much worse than original. The book of Job calls into question what was suppose to be the ultra biblical doctrine of reaping what you sow. But sometimes the maths just don't add up, bad things happen to good people, hard work produces nothing etc... It seems insurbordinate to call God into account for such things but Job did. He lashed out at God with all guns blazing and God did not fault him for it. On the other hand, did God provide an answer to Job's predicament? No, when God appeared, He totally avoid the subject and went on ranting about the glories of His creation.
But what I felt was most important was that God's appearance was enough for Job which fell short of his earlier demands for an explanation from God. If only I had the faith that Job had, that the mere sight of God in my current circumstances would be enough for me no matter what happens instead of complaining about how this that happened just sucks to the core.
The book of Job does not provide an answer to all the unfairness in the world, all the sufferings and undeserved fates. It only adds more questions to it, but it does provide another way to approach it, An approach that require good old faith in God that despite what happens we know we have a good and all powerful God on our side. Nothing is impossible for Him. On a side note, I don't think I remember hearing a sermon having been preached on Job. Perhaps that mist change.
There has been a rather anti-climatic end to my ATEC in Thailand. During our final battalion mission, one company was moving through a cultivated plot of land, which we do all the time. The farmer of the land thought they were thieves or something took out a shotgun and shot them, wounding 2 people in the process. As a result, the entire exercise was scraped and everybody headed back to camp.
Now the future is uncertain, rightfully we were suppose to finish our ATEC in Thailand and come back to Singapore happily having a sense of pride that all our hard work paid off. But as it is we are left hanging. Some say that we will redo the exercise back in Singapore, others say that we will just extract the results from the missions we have performed thus far. But now it seems to me that all the hard work put into this current ATEC in Thailand is being called into question. An undeserved fate to say the least.
Coincidentally, I have been doing a study on Job who also, due to circumstances beyond his control did not get what he deserved. He in fact came off much worse than original. The book of Job calls into question what was suppose to be the ultra biblical doctrine of reaping what you sow. But sometimes the maths just don't add up, bad things happen to good people, hard work produces nothing etc... It seems insurbordinate to call God into account for such things but Job did. He lashed out at God with all guns blazing and God did not fault him for it. On the other hand, did God provide an answer to Job's predicament? No, when God appeared, He totally avoid the subject and went on ranting about the glories of His creation.
But what I felt was most important was that God's appearance was enough for Job which fell short of his earlier demands for an explanation from God. If only I had the faith that Job had, that the mere sight of God in my current circumstances would be enough for me no matter what happens instead of complaining about how this that happened just sucks to the core.
The book of Job does not provide an answer to all the unfairness in the world, all the sufferings and undeserved fates. It only adds more questions to it, but it does provide another way to approach it, An approach that require good old faith in God that despite what happens we know we have a good and all powerful God on our side. Nothing is impossible for Him. On a side note, I don't think I remember hearing a sermon having been preached on Job. Perhaps that mist change.
ORD Loh!
Written in Thailand 240306 1000Hrs:
Yes put these three alphabets together in this order and they will be the favourite alphabets of any NSF soldier. It's time to get on with civilian life and once again pursue your dreams whatever that me be. But there are strings attached, requirements you will have to fulfill in order to leave the army without any problems. Here is a list.
1) Clear IPPT
2) Clear 9 minute SOC
3) Clear unarmed combat course
4) Clear airborne jumps
5) Buy a new handphone
6) Get a girlfriend
Don't ask me where the last two came from but it seems to be happening everywhere in my company. People getting attached or reattached with girlfriends old or new sporting shining new handphones with pictures of them. Corney as it is it does show one thing, my company mates are starting to make preparations for their next phase in life. University applications, job hunting, or simply just deciding what to do after the army you name it, people are moving on. Even here in dreary Thailand people are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the last battalion mission just hours away.
All these developments begs the question, "what have I done to prepare myself for life after the army?" Sure I applied to the university, make a few inquires about job offers but to the observer my preparations might seem half hearted at best. Should I be worried? Yes Am I worried? Strangely no.
Looking inward I did ask myself why I was not worried despite my apparent lack of preparation. Was I so disinterested and ignorant about life? Then I began to worry, worried that I am not worried. The irony. But suddenly like an answer to my ramblings, a song by Jars of Clay came to mind.
There's more that rises in the morning then the sun
And more that shines in the night then just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room
There is more to each day than just the passing of time, God is there everyday looking out for my every single need. The song goes on.
If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will see me through
If I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
I am not perfect, but God has provided me with His promises to stand on, and His grace to fall back on. I being human can only do so much. But if I depend on God, I know I am being looked after.
Looking back at my 2 years in the army. My relationship with God has not been exactly rosy. I was just barely hanging on which is my only regret because I wasted 2 years whereby I could grow deeper and know God better instead of just treading water and not moving anywhere. But that does not mean God has not been faithful. He never failed to fulfill His promises and was never too slow to offer His grace and mercy everytime I fall. So what has changed? Nothing! I worship a God that stays the same no matter what and a God who saw it fit to make me His son and all the perks that entails. So should I worry? I think the answer speaks for itself.
Yes put these three alphabets together in this order and they will be the favourite alphabets of any NSF soldier. It's time to get on with civilian life and once again pursue your dreams whatever that me be. But there are strings attached, requirements you will have to fulfill in order to leave the army without any problems. Here is a list.
1) Clear IPPT
2) Clear 9 minute SOC
3) Clear unarmed combat course
4) Clear airborne jumps
5) Buy a new handphone
6) Get a girlfriend
Don't ask me where the last two came from but it seems to be happening everywhere in my company. People getting attached or reattached with girlfriends old or new sporting shining new handphones with pictures of them. Corney as it is it does show one thing, my company mates are starting to make preparations for their next phase in life. University applications, job hunting, or simply just deciding what to do after the army you name it, people are moving on. Even here in dreary Thailand people are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the last battalion mission just hours away.
All these developments begs the question, "what have I done to prepare myself for life after the army?" Sure I applied to the university, make a few inquires about job offers but to the observer my preparations might seem half hearted at best. Should I be worried? Yes Am I worried? Strangely no.
Looking inward I did ask myself why I was not worried despite my apparent lack of preparation. Was I so disinterested and ignorant about life? Then I began to worry, worried that I am not worried. The irony. But suddenly like an answer to my ramblings, a song by Jars of Clay came to mind.
There's more that rises in the morning then the sun
And more that shines in the night then just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room
There is more to each day than just the passing of time, God is there everyday looking out for my every single need. The song goes on.
If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will see me through
If I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
I am not perfect, but God has provided me with His promises to stand on, and His grace to fall back on. I being human can only do so much. But if I depend on God, I know I am being looked after.
Looking back at my 2 years in the army. My relationship with God has not been exactly rosy. I was just barely hanging on which is my only regret because I wasted 2 years whereby I could grow deeper and know God better instead of just treading water and not moving anywhere. But that does not mean God has not been faithful. He never failed to fulfill His promises and was never too slow to offer His grace and mercy everytime I fall. So what has changed? Nothing! I worship a God that stays the same no matter what and a God who saw it fit to make me His son and all the perks that entails. So should I worry? I think the answer speaks for itself.
Exercise Blue Thunder
Yes finally. After one entire month in Thailand I am back. The next few posts were written in Thailand and my experiences there. During my stay in Thailand, I was thinking about what right I have to occupy your time to read all the posts I have written. Fact is I have no right at all, which humbles me all the more to know that I have friends who care so much about my life to read about it. So as long as people will keep reading, I will keep writing. Enjoy!
Going to war?
Sunday, March 05, 2006
So Long And Thanks For All The Fish.... For Now...
Unfortunately I will off to Thailand for one month and won't be able to update this blog till about the 2nd of April. Nevertheless I will bring my trusty journal along and update that, hopefully I will get some good blog posts out of that when I come back. I apologize for the inconvenience but don't panic, I will be back.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Sloth
Today, I was taking the bus back home after running some errands buying stuff I will need for my Thailand trip. Seated in front of me was a guy who had a earphone on, so one would logically assume he was listening to music or something like that. Logic is such a lair. Why do I say that? Well here is what happened. His handphone rang, so he reached into the bag he was carrying and took out his phone. One would again assume he would answer the phone, put the phone on his ear and say, "hello" right? Wrong again. Instead he took out his phone, attached it to the earphone adaptor and answered his phone. It turns out that he was not listening to music with the earphones he had on, instead it was his phone's handsfree kit.
Why is this significant? Well I think it is very scary when putting a phone to your ear to answer it requires too much effort. The original purpose of a handsfree kit is to enable a driver to talk on the phone even if he is driving. Little did we know that now the handsfree kit is now a device that encourages laziness. We live in a world obsessed with making our lives easier, a bit too obsessed I think, so much so that we have become lazy because of it. Stuff like the remote control, fast food home delivery, the escalator and so on have made us slothful, It is down right wrong, it is a sin in fact and with the increasing rates of obesity in the world, I am not sure that encouraging sloth is a good idea. Am I saying that we should do away with those things? No, but we should be wise about the way we use these things, they provide conveniences, they are not suppose to encourage sloth.
As the saying goes, we make the world that make us. So pehapes we are asking for it making a world like that. But I don't believe we do not have a choice, we always have a choice about the way we live our lives, so I guess my takeaway from this little encounter on the bus is to choose wisely. With that said, I am going for a run, a long one.
Why is this significant? Well I think it is very scary when putting a phone to your ear to answer it requires too much effort. The original purpose of a handsfree kit is to enable a driver to talk on the phone even if he is driving. Little did we know that now the handsfree kit is now a device that encourages laziness. We live in a world obsessed with making our lives easier, a bit too obsessed I think, so much so that we have become lazy because of it. Stuff like the remote control, fast food home delivery, the escalator and so on have made us slothful, It is down right wrong, it is a sin in fact and with the increasing rates of obesity in the world, I am not sure that encouraging sloth is a good idea. Am I saying that we should do away with those things? No, but we should be wise about the way we use these things, they provide conveniences, they are not suppose to encourage sloth.
As the saying goes, we make the world that make us. So pehapes we are asking for it making a world like that. But I don't believe we do not have a choice, we always have a choice about the way we live our lives, so I guess my takeaway from this little encounter on the bus is to choose wisely. With that said, I am going for a run, a long one.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
SOC
The infamous 1.5 KM SAF SOC (Standard Obstacle Course) is a yearly bane for all SAF personel holding a combat vocation. It is also one of the things that convinces me that the world is fair, some are just more fair than others. Why do I say that? Well I have seen people literally just laughing through the entire thing, thinking nothing of it, flying through the obstacles like poetry in motion. Passing the under 9 minute timing is nothing to these kind of people, some of which finish the course in under 8 minutes. Then there are people like me, who need nothing short of divine intervention to pass. The world is fair.
I took my SOC test last week, not expecting to pass. The conditions were bad, the weather sucked, I was not feeling all that well and I was under alot of pressure. Our OC wanted all of us in the company to pass before we went to Thailand for ATEC and I wanted to only suffer the evils of the SOC only once and did not want to run it again. In the words of my CSM, "Do it once, do it good."
I tried to get my head in the game at the start line, visualizing each obstacles along the way, saying a quick pray to God for strength and that whatever happens, it will be according to his will. On the word GO! my detail started running. At the very next moment I was at the finish line with everything happening in between a blur. Looking at my watch I went, "WOW! I actually passed!" The world is fair. If it is not I can be sure that I have a God who loves me and looks out for my interest no matter what. All things do indeed happen for the good of those who love Him.
I took my SOC test last week, not expecting to pass. The conditions were bad, the weather sucked, I was not feeling all that well and I was under alot of pressure. Our OC wanted all of us in the company to pass before we went to Thailand for ATEC and I wanted to only suffer the evils of the SOC only once and did not want to run it again. In the words of my CSM, "Do it once, do it good."
I tried to get my head in the game at the start line, visualizing each obstacles along the way, saying a quick pray to God for strength and that whatever happens, it will be according to his will. On the word GO! my detail started running. At the very next moment I was at the finish line with everything happening in between a blur. Looking at my watch I went, "WOW! I actually passed!" The world is fair. If it is not I can be sure that I have a God who loves me and looks out for my interest no matter what. All things do indeed happen for the good of those who love Him.
Friday, February 24, 2006
F**K!
There is something about army and Cursing. This thing not only exists in the SAF I think, but in most armies around the world. What convinced me of that fact is the movie "Jarhead" If I had a dollar for every "f" word uttered in the movie I would be a very rich man.
"Jarhead" was a good movie, not fantastic, just good. I liked the part where Jake talks about the man and his rifle. It goes something like this.
"A man gets his rifle and learns how to use it. And whatever he does after that, buy a house, love a woman, drive a car, he will still not forget the feeling of the rifle in his hands."
Although it is an American movie, I find that it portrays the NSF mentality very well. There is this scene near the end of the movie whereby Jake tells Troy, "it's funny, you would do anything to stay in and I would do anything to get out." That quote is especially true in my case because I would do anything to get out but I know of army regulars who would do anything to get into where I am today.
The movie also portrays the aftermath of service in the army, whereby the army drops you off at the exact spot in your civilian life at which you joined it and leaves you wondering whether you are a better man for all the shit you have been through or worse. Still you try to pick up the pieces but it is never the same, you find yourself in crisis, caught in between a clash of the military and civilian worlds.
But back to the cursing, I know one army friend who has the ability to spout curses two minutes long insulting all your ancestors three generations upwards. I once asked him why he has to curse so much, he answered and I quote, "what the f**k! With all the f**king things happening around me I think I earned the right to f**king curse!" I took a look at everything happening around me at that moment, I think he has a point.
"Jarhead" was a good movie, not fantastic, just good. I liked the part where Jake talks about the man and his rifle. It goes something like this.
"A man gets his rifle and learns how to use it. And whatever he does after that, buy a house, love a woman, drive a car, he will still not forget the feeling of the rifle in his hands."
Although it is an American movie, I find that it portrays the NSF mentality very well. There is this scene near the end of the movie whereby Jake tells Troy, "it's funny, you would do anything to stay in and I would do anything to get out." That quote is especially true in my case because I would do anything to get out but I know of army regulars who would do anything to get into where I am today.
The movie also portrays the aftermath of service in the army, whereby the army drops you off at the exact spot in your civilian life at which you joined it and leaves you wondering whether you are a better man for all the shit you have been through or worse. Still you try to pick up the pieces but it is never the same, you find yourself in crisis, caught in between a clash of the military and civilian worlds.
But back to the cursing, I know one army friend who has the ability to spout curses two minutes long insulting all your ancestors three generations upwards. I once asked him why he has to curse so much, he answered and I quote, "what the f**k! With all the f**king things happening around me I think I earned the right to f**king curse!" I took a look at everything happening around me at that moment, I think he has a point.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Valentine's Day
This will officially be my twenty second Valentine's day being single, for some it will be a painful event because they do not have anybody to spend it with. For me, I have an excuse. I am doing COS duty in camp. Ha. Anyway this is for you singles out there, hope this will make you feel better.
Nobody's Heart
Lyrics by Lorenz Hart, music by Richard Rodgers
Nobody's heart belongs to me,
heigh-ho, who cares?
Nobody writes his songs to me,no one belongs to me.
That's the least of my cares.
I may sad at times,and disinclined to play,
but it's not bad at times,
to go your own sweet way.
Nobody's arms belongs to me,
no arms feel strong to me.
I admire the moon, as a moon, just a moon
Nobody's heart belongs to me today.
This song is a jazz classic that in a sense promotes singlehood but it also presents a glimmer of hope that one day the singer might find the one he/she will be together with. Enjoy.
By the way, Valentine's day came about because of a defiant priest called (you guessed it) Valentine, who continued to marry loving couples even though the Pope banned marriages because people were getting married and not joining the army. He was executed(How romantic). A very long time later he was bestowed sainthood and 14 February became the day of his feast.
Nobody's Heart
Lyrics by Lorenz Hart, music by Richard Rodgers
Nobody's heart belongs to me,
heigh-ho, who cares?
Nobody writes his songs to me,no one belongs to me.
That's the least of my cares.
I may sad at times,and disinclined to play,
but it's not bad at times,
to go your own sweet way.
Nobody's arms belongs to me,
no arms feel strong to me.
I admire the moon, as a moon, just a moon
Nobody's heart belongs to me today.
This song is a jazz classic that in a sense promotes singlehood but it also presents a glimmer of hope that one day the singer might find the one he/she will be together with. Enjoy.
By the way, Valentine's day came about because of a defiant priest called (you guessed it) Valentine, who continued to marry loving couples even though the Pope banned marriages because people were getting married and not joining the army. He was executed(How romantic). A very long time later he was bestowed sainthood and 14 February became the day of his feast.
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