For Honor And Glory? Think Again.

For Honor and Glory. The motto of the Singapore Armed Forces Commandos of which I am a part as I serve my national service. I am well into my national service with about 7 months left to go, looking forward to my ord date like any NSF soldier would. But as I take stock of my time spent in my unit, stuff I have done being a "commando", things I have learnt. I wonder how much of it I can take to the world outside of the army. How much of the things I have experienced in commandos apply to my further studies, future job, my Christian faith etc.? The answer to that question as far as I initially saw it was a big fat zero. There wasn't any unique experience that I had gone through in commandos that I would not get anywhere else. I came to conclude that my 2 years in the army would be a total and utter waste of time. It was meaningless.

But surely that was not the case, I was certain to bring home something from commandos that I would not get anywhere else. Was it pride? Was it honor? Was it the money? No, no and no. Man, this 2 years of my life is beginning to look like a monumental failure. What topped it all off was this, I did not chose this failure, I had not chosen to go to the commandos, they chose me. Things were not looking very bright from where I was standing.

The turning point came during these few months when I went with my company for LRRP training in Thailand and the recent exercise Falcon operations. Those were arguably the toughest training that my company has been through but I saw everyone in my company including me holding on continuing with the training and encouraging each other along the way. Therefore I came to wonder what on earth would drive us the way it did to complete the tasks of a meaningless activity. What was it that stopped us from giving up, packing up and calling it a day?

Anybody who watched the movie "Black Hawk Down" would remember a scene here the end of the movie where one soldier would tell the other soldier, "its not about being a hero, its about the man beside you." (I don't think that is the exact quote but it gets the point across) I know some people would think that that quote is very cliche, yes I think its cliche too but it is true. Studies were conducted by psychiatrist on people that have gone through stuff like the gulf war. In it they were asked a series of questions, one of which was what kept them going when things got really tough in the battlefield. Was it thinking about their loved ones? Was it the recognition and fame they were likely to recieve when this thing was over? Was it about being a hero? What was it? Most of them said that what kept them going was the person beside them fighting alongside them.

So perhaps that is my answer, the thing that was keeping me and my mates going when training got tough was the person beside them, the knowledge that there are others going through the exact same thing. That gives us the resolve to carry on as we draw strength from each other and encourage each other at the same time, not honor, not pride, not glory (frankly I think those things are bullshit). I know that it sounds ironic but it is true.

So what is the lesson learnt? Well the normal human reaction when facing tough circumstances is to clam up, do damage control, we develop the "how can we help others when we can't even help ourselves?" mentality. Maybe that is not the way it is suppose to be done, perhaps if we try to help and encourage others who are in the same circumstance as us, we just might be helping ourselves in the process. That I think was my unique experience in the SAF Commandos.