Enough

The hardest lesson that a christian has to learn is that God allows bad things to happen to us. The very people he claims to love. How we react to it says a lot about us as christians. Things are not going well ever since I made a commitment to stay in RCC.

I grossly dislike the way that I was transferred to my new cell group. Things I hear from my church friends are not encouraging as well as other personal stuff that is happening. Details that I will not go into. I am really discouraged by the combination of things that are happening. I do not have doubts, I am frustrated that I have been led to such a state. It is hard to see God's sovereignty in times like this, hard to see that I can contribute any good to the entire situation because it simply turns me off.

The position I am in now creates more problems than it sovles, but the frustrating thing was that I did not put myself in this position. I was pushed into it by circumstances beyond my control. I was defenseless, no chance to voice my two cents worth either because I felt that God did not want me to or that I was simply powerless to let my voice be heard.

I am not in this position be choice and I demand to know why!

But in the mists of my moaning, I got reminded about someone who was in much deeper shit than me but still demanded much less. No, I am not talking about the typical china man that will work twice as hard with half the pay ;) I am talking about Job. When Job suffer disaster after disaster, he was frustrated. He could not figure out what on earth he could have done for God to treat him like that. He did in fact ask for an explaination from God and he had every right to. But......

Did God give it? No.

Did Job complain? No.

Job recognized that in whatever shit he was going through all he needs is God's presence with him. No need for vindications, explanations or apologies. No need for God to bring justification and judgment to my enemies, no need to slap people with gloves to "demand satisfaction"(some of you will know what I mean. Haha!). All I need is God's presence with me.

But currently, is God's presense enough for me? Sadly no. Being human I still demand to know the how and why of things. But I am really learning and trying to make it enough, trying to accept God's sovereign hold on my life. It is a lesson I will never stop learning.