There is always something anti-climatic about holidays, especially so for the year end christmas-new year period. You will start to get all excited before the holidays, where am I going, What will I do to enjoy myself? Lets go have some fun! But when the day itself actually comes, things turn out to be very different.
I went to a new year steamboat at Shaun's house. Frankly I was very reluctant to go because my back was aching and that put me in a foul mood, a bloody good way to start the year. Despite that I decided to go to the steamboat anyway, who knows I might enjoy the company. Well, I enjoyed the company, I enjoyed the food but the pain in my back really spoiled the whole evening for me.
I decided to leave early and try to sleep the pain off, so after saying my goodbyes I took a walk to the nearest MRT station and boarded the train. I took out my book and MP3 player trying to kill the time it took to go back home. On the train my attention was diverted to a couple seating opposite me looking so much in love. For all of you perverts out there, no they were not lip locking and doing that sort of thing, they were just seating beside each other talking, holding hand always wearing a smile.
Then on my MP3 player the lonely sounding solo saxaphone kick in, the sadest song known to man started playing...
Once I laughed when I heard you say
That I'd be playing solitaire
Uneasy in my easy chair
It never entered my mind
Once you told me I was mistaken
That I'd awaken with the sun
And order orange juice for one
It never entered my mind
You have what I lack myself
Now I even have to scratch my back myself
Once you warned me that if you scorned me
I'd say a lover's prayer again
And wish that you were there again
To get into my hair again
It never entered my mind
Hearing the song and seeing the happy couple made me feel miserable to be unattached. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy the way I am. But it made the whole day very anti-climatic, for the next few hours I was feeling miserable lamenting to myself how nice it would be to be able to share the holiday with someone special whosoever that someone might be. Something is wrong with this picture isn't it. I was suppose to enjoy the holiday not feel miserable.
So that was how I started my new year, in unnecessary misery, good thing the feeling started to wear off and disappear the next day as I woke up angry at myself for not controlling my emotions well enough. But ok enough rambling. Here's wishing all a blessed new year.
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2 comments:
Well, sometimes such intrusion of loneliness does happen, you just got to live with it. It ain't exactly a bad thing, u juz gotta know how to mange it, and not let it overwhelm you too much. =)
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