People and friends I meet in the civilian world sometimes tell me, "wah! Commando ah. Can jump airborne, can do so many other things that normal NS men cannot do. You have an experience of a lifetime, you should cherish it" Well I don't disagree but this is what happened when I share this opinion to one of my army mates, "f**k you! If they think it is so easy and fun then ask them to do lah. I will gladly let one of them take my place." I was taken aback by the strength of the response but I know what he means.
We as human beings are always not satisfied with where we are. We always have the "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality because when we look at the life of another person, we see all the pros and not the cons. But when we see our own life, we see all the cons and not the pros. That is why I thank God for people and friends that put me back in perspective and help me see some of the pros in my life. Yes, although the training is hard and it is not easy as my army mate so blatantly put it but I have learnt to cherish these experiences and draw lessons from them. These are the things money can't buy.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
The Poly vs JC Debate
I was reading the day's Strait's Times and came across an article addressing the recent JC vs Poly Debate. It was apparently started by a JC student who posted his thoughts on the matter on a forum of a popular MMORPG game called "Maple Story". Whatever that transpired since then is a matter of public record which you can read for yourself and form your own opinion. The article I read was titled "It's no secret who is better". In it the author writes
First of all I would like to state that I am a poly graduate and proud of it. Second I believe the perceptions and assumptions of the author are to say the least flawed. Given that admission requirements for JCs are more stringent than the poly's, there is nothing to prove that the quality of education is any different. There is also nothing to prove that the stringent admissions have any relevance to the quality of a person's character or intelligence. The JCs have their fair share of bad eggs too.
The author also mentioned how in awarding scholarships, the Public Service Commission only looks to the JCs and not the polys. Well, there are other scholarships that look for "Singapore's best and brightest" (in the author's own words) in the polys and/or the ITEs and not the JCs. So I guess that the line of comparison between them is not so well defined as the author thinks it to be.
On a more moral front, I personally think that it is wrong to degrade and demean genuine hard working people looking for an education whether they are from the poly, JC or ITE. A hardworking student is a hardworking student be it in the poly, JC or ITE and a screw up is a screw up no matter where he or she is schooling. Yet true and untrue it is still wrong to say that one is inferior to another. Especially when there is a chance that these very same people might be the people you are working with in future.
All my years in school taught me to keep an open mind. Education is not everything, a JC student can just as easily screw up his life as a poly or ITE student stringent entry requirements or not. If the author is dead set on his or her opinion on the matter despite evidence to the contrary. One would wonder what the years of education have actually taught him or her.
I hate to be blunt, but JC students are better than polytechnic students, period. Politically incorrect I may sound, but here are the facts. Entry requirements at JCs are far more stringent than those at polys. As a result, large numbers of students who do not make the cut for JCs are "forced" to opt for a poly education. Those who enter polys of their own choice remain the exception, rather than the rule.
Also, when the Public Service Commission awards scholarships to Singapore's best and brightest, they look to JCs, not polytechnics.. Yes polys have improved in recent years, but there is still a long way to go before the average poly student matches up to the average JC student. Sad to say, but this is an open secret.
First of all I would like to state that I am a poly graduate and proud of it. Second I believe the perceptions and assumptions of the author are to say the least flawed. Given that admission requirements for JCs are more stringent than the poly's, there is nothing to prove that the quality of education is any different. There is also nothing to prove that the stringent admissions have any relevance to the quality of a person's character or intelligence. The JCs have their fair share of bad eggs too.
The author also mentioned how in awarding scholarships, the Public Service Commission only looks to the JCs and not the polys. Well, there are other scholarships that look for "Singapore's best and brightest" (in the author's own words) in the polys and/or the ITEs and not the JCs. So I guess that the line of comparison between them is not so well defined as the author thinks it to be.
On a more moral front, I personally think that it is wrong to degrade and demean genuine hard working people looking for an education whether they are from the poly, JC or ITE. A hardworking student is a hardworking student be it in the poly, JC or ITE and a screw up is a screw up no matter where he or she is schooling. Yet true and untrue it is still wrong to say that one is inferior to another. Especially when there is a chance that these very same people might be the people you are working with in future.
All my years in school taught me to keep an open mind. Education is not everything, a JC student can just as easily screw up his life as a poly or ITE student stringent entry requirements or not. If the author is dead set on his or her opinion on the matter despite evidence to the contrary. One would wonder what the years of education have actually taught him or her.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Stardust
And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky, the little stars pine
Always reminding me that we're apart
You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a love that cannot die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by.
Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights
Dreaming of a song
That melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song
Beside a garden wall
Where stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells its fairy tale
Of paradise where roses grew
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain.
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky, the little stars pine
Always reminding me that we're apart
You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a love that cannot die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by.
Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights
Dreaming of a song
That melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song
Beside a garden wall
Where stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells its fairy tale
Of paradise where roses grew
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Barabbas
Give us Barabbas!Much has been said about Christ on the cross but little has been said about the one He replaced. Yes, I am talking about Barabbas, the notorious criminal that the Jews of the day released in place of Christ while Pilate was trying to rescue Jesus using a Passover tradition of releasing prisoners. Pilate did not expect the crowds to want to crucify Jesus so much that they were willing to release so notorious a criminal as Barabbas.
I often wonder why it was necessary for Barabbas to be in the picture of the crucifixion story. Christ could be crucified on Pilate's orders without the need for Barabbas. In fact Pilate has crucified numerous others prior to this, so why the need for Barabbas? Why did God put Barabbas in the picture? I guess the very act of replacement of Barabbas to Christ on the cross indicates that Christ did not deserve the cross and that He did it in place of a sinful man.
I guess Barabbas represents us to a certain extent. We all deserve the fate of the cross, we all like Barabbas had no way out initially but to await that very fate. But Christ came and replaced us. He was nailed to the cross that we were meant to be nailed to, He suffered the punishment that we were meant to suffer. I just can't help it but be thankful. Praise God.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Saying Grace
The Good Friday season never fails to remind us that we were bought over by God at a hefty price. Each of us carries a price tag around our necks not containing a moneytary amount represented by dollars and cents but a price tag that is simply labelled "The blood of the Lamb." If you ask me I would us that we were overpriced, far too expensive and not worthwhile to buy, but God was moved by His unconditional love to actually pay the price and bought us over.
I never seem to be able to grasp that fact of the price God paid for me so wretched a sinner but on this good friday a thought occured to me that did not occur to me previously. Each time when my family has dinner together we say grace as all christians do. But as I sat at the table and prepared myself for the customary grace before dinner one day, I felt that I had more to thank God for than the food on the table. As I think back, I got reminded that saying grace before dinner was not exactly a custom in my family just 1 or 2 years back when I was the only christian in my family.
But now I thank God for the fact that I can now say grace for the food at the dinner table together with my family who are all now saved by the saving grace of Christ. And all these because of a saviour who died on the cross for me, my family and the rest of the world. Saying grace at the dinner table will never be the same again.
I never seem to be able to grasp that fact of the price God paid for me so wretched a sinner but on this good friday a thought occured to me that did not occur to me previously. Each time when my family has dinner together we say grace as all christians do. But as I sat at the table and prepared myself for the customary grace before dinner one day, I felt that I had more to thank God for than the food on the table. As I think back, I got reminded that saying grace before dinner was not exactly a custom in my family just 1 or 2 years back when I was the only christian in my family.
But now I thank God for the fact that I can now say grace for the food at the dinner table together with my family who are all now saved by the saving grace of Christ. And all these because of a saviour who died on the cross for me, my family and the rest of the world. Saying grace at the dinner table will never be the same again.
Monday, April 03, 2006
That is the question
Written in Thailand 010406 2240Hrs
During my final week in Thailand, I had a lot of reading time. So besides cramming my head for the Passover research I am doing with Dominic I have been reading a book written by Philip Yancey titled "I was just wondering." The book contained a selection of past articles he had written for the magazine called "Christianity Today." In the book, Philip touched on today's social, moral and religious problems but he does not seek to provide a solution or an answer to it. He only asks more questions. Reading the book I wondered whether it was wise to add more questions in what is already a growing melting pod of sociatal woes yet I found the book strangely insightful and a delightful read. It gives you the feeling that someone has the answers if only we know who look for.
So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? In the book "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a race of super advanced trans-dimensional beings tried to find the answer to "Life, Universe and Everything." To that effect they spend a huge amount of resources and time to build a super duper computer to compute the answer, they called it Deep Thought. After five million years of computing for an answer, Deep Thought came up with an answer that totally did not make sense. When asked about the answer, Deep Thought said that the answer did not make sense because they did not have the question in the first place.
I guess there is a moral to that story. So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? Is the question just as important as the answer? Answers can be wrong, but the only wrong question is the one you don't ask. Wisest is he who knows that he does not know. Should we ask more questions? I was just wondering.
During my final week in Thailand, I had a lot of reading time. So besides cramming my head for the Passover research I am doing with Dominic I have been reading a book written by Philip Yancey titled "I was just wondering." The book contained a selection of past articles he had written for the magazine called "Christianity Today." In the book, Philip touched on today's social, moral and religious problems but he does not seek to provide a solution or an answer to it. He only asks more questions. Reading the book I wondered whether it was wise to add more questions in what is already a growing melting pod of sociatal woes yet I found the book strangely insightful and a delightful read. It gives you the feeling that someone has the answers if only we know who look for.
So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? In the book "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a race of super advanced trans-dimensional beings tried to find the answer to "Life, Universe and Everything." To that effect they spend a huge amount of resources and time to build a super duper computer to compute the answer, they called it Deep Thought. After five million years of computing for an answer, Deep Thought came up with an answer that totally did not make sense. When asked about the answer, Deep Thought said that the answer did not make sense because they did not have the question in the first place.
I guess there is a moral to that story. So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? Is the question just as important as the answer? Answers can be wrong, but the only wrong question is the one you don't ask. Wisest is he who knows that he does not know. Should we ask more questions? I was just wondering.
Job
Written in Thailand 250306 2025Hrs:
There has been a rather anti-climatic end to my ATEC in Thailand. During our final battalion mission, one company was moving through a cultivated plot of land, which we do all the time. The farmer of the land thought they were thieves or something took out a shotgun and shot them, wounding 2 people in the process. As a result, the entire exercise was scraped and everybody headed back to camp.
Now the future is uncertain, rightfully we were suppose to finish our ATEC in Thailand and come back to Singapore happily having a sense of pride that all our hard work paid off. But as it is we are left hanging. Some say that we will redo the exercise back in Singapore, others say that we will just extract the results from the missions we have performed thus far. But now it seems to me that all the hard work put into this current ATEC in Thailand is being called into question. An undeserved fate to say the least.
Coincidentally, I have been doing a study on Job who also, due to circumstances beyond his control did not get what he deserved. He in fact came off much worse than original. The book of Job calls into question what was suppose to be the ultra biblical doctrine of reaping what you sow. But sometimes the maths just don't add up, bad things happen to good people, hard work produces nothing etc... It seems insurbordinate to call God into account for such things but Job did. He lashed out at God with all guns blazing and God did not fault him for it. On the other hand, did God provide an answer to Job's predicament? No, when God appeared, He totally avoid the subject and went on ranting about the glories of His creation.
But what I felt was most important was that God's appearance was enough for Job which fell short of his earlier demands for an explanation from God. If only I had the faith that Job had, that the mere sight of God in my current circumstances would be enough for me no matter what happens instead of complaining about how this that happened just sucks to the core.
The book of Job does not provide an answer to all the unfairness in the world, all the sufferings and undeserved fates. It only adds more questions to it, but it does provide another way to approach it, An approach that require good old faith in God that despite what happens we know we have a good and all powerful God on our side. Nothing is impossible for Him. On a side note, I don't think I remember hearing a sermon having been preached on Job. Perhaps that mist change.
There has been a rather anti-climatic end to my ATEC in Thailand. During our final battalion mission, one company was moving through a cultivated plot of land, which we do all the time. The farmer of the land thought they were thieves or something took out a shotgun and shot them, wounding 2 people in the process. As a result, the entire exercise was scraped and everybody headed back to camp.
Now the future is uncertain, rightfully we were suppose to finish our ATEC in Thailand and come back to Singapore happily having a sense of pride that all our hard work paid off. But as it is we are left hanging. Some say that we will redo the exercise back in Singapore, others say that we will just extract the results from the missions we have performed thus far. But now it seems to me that all the hard work put into this current ATEC in Thailand is being called into question. An undeserved fate to say the least.
Coincidentally, I have been doing a study on Job who also, due to circumstances beyond his control did not get what he deserved. He in fact came off much worse than original. The book of Job calls into question what was suppose to be the ultra biblical doctrine of reaping what you sow. But sometimes the maths just don't add up, bad things happen to good people, hard work produces nothing etc... It seems insurbordinate to call God into account for such things but Job did. He lashed out at God with all guns blazing and God did not fault him for it. On the other hand, did God provide an answer to Job's predicament? No, when God appeared, He totally avoid the subject and went on ranting about the glories of His creation.
But what I felt was most important was that God's appearance was enough for Job which fell short of his earlier demands for an explanation from God. If only I had the faith that Job had, that the mere sight of God in my current circumstances would be enough for me no matter what happens instead of complaining about how this that happened just sucks to the core.
The book of Job does not provide an answer to all the unfairness in the world, all the sufferings and undeserved fates. It only adds more questions to it, but it does provide another way to approach it, An approach that require good old faith in God that despite what happens we know we have a good and all powerful God on our side. Nothing is impossible for Him. On a side note, I don't think I remember hearing a sermon having been preached on Job. Perhaps that mist change.
ORD Loh!
Written in Thailand 240306 1000Hrs:
Yes put these three alphabets together in this order and they will be the favourite alphabets of any NSF soldier. It's time to get on with civilian life and once again pursue your dreams whatever that me be. But there are strings attached, requirements you will have to fulfill in order to leave the army without any problems. Here is a list.
1) Clear IPPT
2) Clear 9 minute SOC
3) Clear unarmed combat course
4) Clear airborne jumps
5) Buy a new handphone
6) Get a girlfriend
Don't ask me where the last two came from but it seems to be happening everywhere in my company. People getting attached or reattached with girlfriends old or new sporting shining new handphones with pictures of them. Corney as it is it does show one thing, my company mates are starting to make preparations for their next phase in life. University applications, job hunting, or simply just deciding what to do after the army you name it, people are moving on. Even here in dreary Thailand people are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the last battalion mission just hours away.
All these developments begs the question, "what have I done to prepare myself for life after the army?" Sure I applied to the university, make a few inquires about job offers but to the observer my preparations might seem half hearted at best. Should I be worried? Yes Am I worried? Strangely no.
Looking inward I did ask myself why I was not worried despite my apparent lack of preparation. Was I so disinterested and ignorant about life? Then I began to worry, worried that I am not worried. The irony. But suddenly like an answer to my ramblings, a song by Jars of Clay came to mind.
There's more that rises in the morning then the sun
And more that shines in the night then just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room
There is more to each day than just the passing of time, God is there everyday looking out for my every single need. The song goes on.
If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will see me through
If I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
I am not perfect, but God has provided me with His promises to stand on, and His grace to fall back on. I being human can only do so much. But if I depend on God, I know I am being looked after.
Looking back at my 2 years in the army. My relationship with God has not been exactly rosy. I was just barely hanging on which is my only regret because I wasted 2 years whereby I could grow deeper and know God better instead of just treading water and not moving anywhere. But that does not mean God has not been faithful. He never failed to fulfill His promises and was never too slow to offer His grace and mercy everytime I fall. So what has changed? Nothing! I worship a God that stays the same no matter what and a God who saw it fit to make me His son and all the perks that entails. So should I worry? I think the answer speaks for itself.
Yes put these three alphabets together in this order and they will be the favourite alphabets of any NSF soldier. It's time to get on with civilian life and once again pursue your dreams whatever that me be. But there are strings attached, requirements you will have to fulfill in order to leave the army without any problems. Here is a list.
1) Clear IPPT
2) Clear 9 minute SOC
3) Clear unarmed combat course
4) Clear airborne jumps
5) Buy a new handphone
6) Get a girlfriend
Don't ask me where the last two came from but it seems to be happening everywhere in my company. People getting attached or reattached with girlfriends old or new sporting shining new handphones with pictures of them. Corney as it is it does show one thing, my company mates are starting to make preparations for their next phase in life. University applications, job hunting, or simply just deciding what to do after the army you name it, people are moving on. Even here in dreary Thailand people are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the last battalion mission just hours away.
All these developments begs the question, "what have I done to prepare myself for life after the army?" Sure I applied to the university, make a few inquires about job offers but to the observer my preparations might seem half hearted at best. Should I be worried? Yes Am I worried? Strangely no.
Looking inward I did ask myself why I was not worried despite my apparent lack of preparation. Was I so disinterested and ignorant about life? Then I began to worry, worried that I am not worried. The irony. But suddenly like an answer to my ramblings, a song by Jars of Clay came to mind.
There's more that rises in the morning then the sun
And more that shines in the night then just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room
There is more to each day than just the passing of time, God is there everyday looking out for my every single need. The song goes on.
If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will see me through
If I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
I am not perfect, but God has provided me with His promises to stand on, and His grace to fall back on. I being human can only do so much. But if I depend on God, I know I am being looked after.
Looking back at my 2 years in the army. My relationship with God has not been exactly rosy. I was just barely hanging on which is my only regret because I wasted 2 years whereby I could grow deeper and know God better instead of just treading water and not moving anywhere. But that does not mean God has not been faithful. He never failed to fulfill His promises and was never too slow to offer His grace and mercy everytime I fall. So what has changed? Nothing! I worship a God that stays the same no matter what and a God who saw it fit to make me His son and all the perks that entails. So should I worry? I think the answer speaks for itself.
Exercise Blue Thunder
Yes finally. After one entire month in Thailand I am back. The next few posts were written in Thailand and my experiences there. During my stay in Thailand, I was thinking about what right I have to occupy your time to read all the posts I have written. Fact is I have no right at all, which humbles me all the more to know that I have friends who care so much about my life to read about it. So as long as people will keep reading, I will keep writing. Enjoy!
Going to war?
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