Bittersweet

God has been good to me in 2006. ORD loh! Found a stable job, stable finances and looking for opportunities to further my studies. Now that it is the end of the year, I look back at 2006 and I am blessed and content.

But this was the year in which I have learnt a sad and bitter lesson. Despite all the good things happening to me on the surface, I have never felt more alone. When faced with one's problems, one is truly and utterly alone. No friends or companions will be able to help you because you alone make the decisions on what solutions to take on your problems and you alone and will either enjoy the benefits or suffer the conseqences of your actions.

I have always thought that it is the norm to have a group of friends or just a friend that you will treasure who will never think twice to help you out in your time of need. But this year, I have found my friendships useless, not because they are not willing to help but because they can't. They are human too, with limitations and flaws. It was a hard and bitter pill to swallow, I have come to accept that my view of friendship is flawed and I only ever needed just one companion in life. God Himself.

Taking this lesson to heart, the changes are quite visible (at least to me). I have learnt to live and let live, accepting that people will come and go in your life. We will draw close, drift apart and perhaps never see each other again. I also seemed to have become more decisive, making decisions with less consideration about what others might think. And perhaps, this lesson when taken to heart will increase my dependance on God. I do hope that is the case.

Blessed new year!

Missed Opportunity?

Few weeks ago I recieved a phone call from my grandma. She along with my grandpa wanted to go visit my dad and family down in Miri, Sarawak and asked me if I wanted to come along. I had never wanted much to do with my dad, since he was not a big part of my life in the first place (long and complicated story). In fact when he offered to provide for my further studies after my NS, I turned him down, I told him I would rather pay my own way. Ever so often when I go to my grandma's place to indulge myself in her home cooked meals that I badly miss. Other family members, aunts, uncles etc. would try to encourage me to talk to my father. Even they sense the hostility.

To top it all off, my mum has even got into the act. Once when she was talking to me about my father, I in my insensitivity tried remind her what happened to their marriage and how they too are also not exactly on talking terms. She replied, "he is your father after all, you should give him a chance." Some part of me wanted to make things right with my father, I did ask God for the chance when He thinks I am ready, so perhaps this phone call from my grandma was that chance.

Sadly, I gave an excuse to my grandma, I told her I wasn't sure if I could take leave now and stalled my decision saying, "see first lah." Probably a knee jerk reaction because I was taken by surprise. But after thinking it through for a few days, I decided that it would be foolish of me to let this chance pass by whether it was divinely appointed or not, so I call my grandma back to tell her I was going.

This was what she told me, "I am not going already lah! The airfare is ridiculous! $700 for a one way ticket! I can fly to Hongkong, fly back and still have shopping money!"

I replied, "but if you go to Senai airport it would be much cheaper and..."

"Cannot lah boy, we old already" my grandma interrupted, "You cannot expect me and grandpa to travel up and down from Johor like that, it is very tiring. Anyway I emailed your father to tell him we are not coming already lah... eh I got to go... call me if you want to come for dinner ok? Bye bye."

Was it a missed opportunity or a door that was divinely closed to prevent me from making a mistake? Maybe the time just isn't right yet. All I know is that God works mysteriously and I just have to go with the flow. Still, I feel that it was an interesting story to blog, hope you liked it.

Marriage?!

I was having dinner with a close army friend yesterday. We had a good time catching up with each other sharing with each other about our lives after the army. The talk eventually fell on marriage. I told him I was planning my life on the assumption that I was never going to get married and he responded saying, "dunno leh, this kind of thing very hard to say one leh." I agree with him but still saw no harm in planning my life the way I am doing. A wise man once said, "plan like Jesus is never going to come, live like He is coming tomorrow."

Unlike most of my peers, whether Christian or not. I do not believe in the romantic notion of love. Put it simply I do not believe in romance. To me, there is no such thing as a "one true love" whom you are destined to meet, no "princess charming" that I am suppose to fight dragons for and rescue from a tower and I most definitely do not believe that God has made someone special out there with you in mind (that is the most ridiculous statement yet).

Don't get me wrong, I do believe in love. The apostle Paul said that love is the greatest thing of all. Love is the very essence of my Christian faith, it is what drew me to Christianity in the first place. But we must be very careful not to associate love with romance. I believe that when two people love each other so much that they are willing to commit to the vows of marriage with each other, God will bless and honour that vow. If the vow is broken in any way, the vow breaker/s will be held accountable, plain and simple. And if you choose not to take such a vow, God will bless you too and respect your decision.

In every marriage there are sacrifices to be made, compromises to be reached, quarrels to be settled, expectations to meet, responsibilities to fulfil and last but not least, ang pows to give away every chinese new year :). It takes COMMITMENT and EFFORT to make a marriage work, those two words are sadly lacking in almost half the marriages of today that end up in divorce.

With all that I have said, marriage doesn't sound so attractive anymore right? Well I guess that is where love comes in. If you love your "significant other" enough to put up with all that crap then by all means go ahead and get married. Romance does not sustain a marriage, love does. Do not think for a second that your marriage will take care of itself because you guys are "specially made for one another" and "destined to meet." There is not such thing, it is just philosopical crap from the Romantics of the 18th century.

So if you think that love is the product of destiny and fate, maybe you should take romance out of the equation and think again. You will find that it is the product of commitment and effort, much like our relationship with Christ. You might argue that these are two different kinds of love but I can assure you that it takes the same ingredients to make it work.

Truly Asia

I went on a trip to Malaysia for my work on Thursday and Friday with a full plate of things to do. My boss gave me a lift to Senai airport in JB and I was basically on my own. From JB I had to fly to KL, do some stuff there and then fly again to Penang on the same day (Thursday). Stay one night in Penang, do some stuff there then fly back to JB and find transport back to Singapore (Friday).

I thank God for guiding me throughout this trip and providing me with friendly people that gave me friendly directions to get to certain places in the best possible way (apparently taxi is not always the answer). I also thank God for stretching my time making me able to catch all my flights as my schedule was very tight, in fact I almost missed the one from Penang to JB.

Two incidents come to mind as I think about my trip there. First, I was in KL taking the Malaysian version of the MRT to a bus interchange to catch a bus that would get me to the airport. Some guy I approached for directions suggested the train instead of a taxi to avoid the rush hours jams which are massive in KL. It was a brilliant suggestion as I got to the airport with enough time to check in and have my dinner at the airport. I also saw the jams when I was on the train. They were MASSIVE.

But when I was on the train, someone who apparently thought I was a local asked me for directions. He asked, "hello, are you familiar with this area or not?" I said no and that I- like him was not from KL. I don't think it takes too much observation to figure out I was not from KL. First I have a piece of luggage that I was carrying around the entire time I was there. Second, I was blur as sotong during my train journey, anxiously looking for my stop and checking constantly to see of the train I was on was the correct one. I stood out like a sore thumb. Yet the gentleman apparently thought I looked like a local.

The second incident happened when I returned to Singapore. Finally smelling home air after two days of hard work in Malaysia, the feeling was good. I boarded a taxi at Kranji to return to my office in Macpherson. During the journey my taxi driver and I engaged in some small talk. Part of it when something like this.

Taxi driver: "wah, its been raining here everyday. How is the whether in Malaysia?"

Me: "ok lah, it was also raining the 2 days I was there"

Taxi driver: "hah? 2 days only ar, you not Malaysian meh?"

Me: "No I am Singaporean."

Taxi driver: "orr.... I thought you Malaysian..."

Judging from these two incidents, I apparently look like a Malaysian (no offense, I think Malaysians are nice people :) ). Which reminds me of one last thing. I met a potential customer in Penang to give him some brochures of the machines we sell and their prices. When he saw what the machines costs he quiped, "with the amount of money these machines costs, I can buy a plot of land in Malaysia build a house and stay there." Maybe I should do that, since I already look the part.

Love

It is ironic that when the greatest love of all is given so freely, human love has to be earned. It is also often costly and not worth the effort.

Reactions

Sometimes the true colours of a community can be seen not by something horrible and wrong done by someone to or from that community, but by its reaction to it. Still not following? Okay, take for example september 11th, a horrible act no doubt. But it brought to light the unity, determination and tenacity of New Yorkers and the entire American community at large. The reaction to the disaster brought to light the true strength and human spirit of those affect by it.

Unfortunately this time I am covering something less positive. Ted Haggard president of the National Association of Evangelicals (30 million strong) admited to using drugs and the services of a gay prostitute. When the whole thing came to light, he resigned his post and is now suspended from the association he helped found. What made things worse for him was his aggressively anti-gay stance, in fact he recently did a gay bashing sermon in his "Jesus Camp" movie. Now that clip is all over the net serving as an ultimate point in irony and hypocrisy.

Now there is no denying what he did was wrong, there is also no denying that he will eventually bear the consequences of his actions. What Ted Haggard did is not my point, we all have sinned and fallen short just like the Bible said so I am not about to judge. It is the reaction to what he did that I am concerned about. Just watch this.



Jokes aside Jon Stewart in my view was spot on about the reaction of other Chirstian leaders in America regarding this issue. They really seem to be "holier than thou", marginalizing Haggard and dropping him like a political hot potato not even giving thought to how his congregation and his family are affected by all this and how to go about helping them, some went as far as to question the unity and integrity of his congregation most of whom I believe are upstanding Christians. Remember the story where Jesus said, "let he who has no sin cast the first stone"? I think some of the Christian leaders have already casted theirs.

Now here's the thing, if a politican drops a former political ally who has fallen from grace like a "hot potato" we would not even bat an eyelash. Such things are happening in the case of Mark Foley in the US and Chen Shui Bian in Taiwan. Why is that? Because politics is dirty, simple as that. But is reacting that way a right thing for Christians to do? Are not we Christians judged by a higher standard? How will we react if something like this were to happen in Singapore? Why I am asking these questions? Because our true colours might be shown through our reactions.

In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

When the sun is high, in the afternoon sky
There will always be something to do
But from dusk till dawn, as the clock ticks on
Something happens to you

In the wee small hours of the morning
When the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about your problems
And never even think of counting sheep

When your troubled self has learnt its lesson
He would help if only you would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
Thats the time you need Him most of all
Thats the time you need Him most of all

Birthdays and Transformers

Today is my birthday, (yes yes one year older woohoo... ). Being one year older does give you a bit of perspective, to add to that perspective is the upcoming release of the "Transformers" motion picture. Finally, we are able to see our favourite "robots in disguise" interact in the real world and "transform" before our very eyes, making that funny robotic sound when they do.

I remember in my earlier birthdays when I was still a kid and my dad bought me my first Transformer toy, I was very happy. I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be great to be able to own all the Transfomer toys? Wouldn't it be great to actually see them in real life?" Transformers were like my purpose in life during those times, and that is the reason why the movie is being made now. It does not take rocket science to tell you that it make perfect business sense.

Millions of kids like me were also drawn into the world of the Transformers when the cartoon series first rolled out, and kids like me grow up. The difference is now kids like me now have incomes, more spending power and are eager to relive their long lost and sorely missed childhoods, and they have the money to do it. Not only will they be happily buying tickets to the movie but the licensing deals on toy, computer games etc... would be enormous. Plus, it is also a good way to capture the imagination of today's kids and pull them away from their Power Rangers or Pokemon or whatever the hell kids watch these days.

This movie has been a long time coming, but it is only now that the technology exists to make such an endeavour practical. So I guess we should count ourselves lucky that we live in an age where we can see our childhood dreams come alive. But I wonder what would happen 10- 15 years later when the "pokemon generation" grows up. The last thing I want to see in the cinema is a computer generated "Pikachu" jumping around and acting cute in a motion picture. The thought of it alone is disturbing. I guess I should stop thinking about it and enjoy what is left of my birthday.

Mankind

"I love mankind - it's people I can't stand!" Linus Van Pelt in Peanuts

I Need Inspiration!!!

It is becoming an increasing challenge to keep this blog updated because it is more difficult to find blog-worthy stuff to blog about. Life after the army is much quieter and things are beginning to settle down. Though I did get a letter stating that I will be on standby for mobilisation. The lousy army can't leave me alone for three months.

I am not complaining, I am doing ok. Waking up, going for breakfast, reading the papers, going to work, coming back home to relax. My job gives me a sense of challenge and satisfaction, my boss is good and my colleagues are friendly with none of that office politics crap which I want nothing to do with. I have a roof over my head, enough money to use and provide for myself. Things are falling into a sort of a timetable and I am fairly satisfied with how I spend each day although I still think I don't leave enough time for God, that is a constant struggle.

This so called "lack of inspiration" in my life have highlighted all the mundane stuff I often take so for granted in my life. Yes, life in the commandos was high-key and exciting filled with challenges and milestones. Thanking God for giving me the strength to complete my 72km route march is one thing but what about giving thanks for the mundane, your everyday life? Now I have started giving thanks for having the ability to support myself, having a good job, having good friends and a loving family to look out for me. Now I thank God for the mundane.

Cell Group

I was having lunch with my boss on Thursday and the “lunch table talk” eventually when to church (my boss is a Christian). He ask me whether I was part of a cell group in my church, I told him that I was part of one and I am now looking for joining a working adults cell group in my church. Then he said something that shocked me especially when it was coming from an elder Christian. He told me that he was a cell leader before and from the perspective he had as a cell leader, he is convinced that the cell group system was not good for Christians and warn me not to get too involved. I was quite taken aback by that remark because I often thought that being part of a cell group is considered good for a Christian.

I could not shake that remark off for the rest of the day. I got to thinking, how did a healthy church going Christian come to this conclusion? Looking at how my boss practices his faith, it would not be illogical to think that he is currently part of or even leading a cell group. But here he is criticizing the every system I have come to see as one of the foundations of being Christian. Did not the early church of the apostles work very much the same way, meeting in small groups eating, worshipping and fellowshipping together?

Then I started to look for examples of Christians who did well alone. Joseph was one example. He spent most of his young life alone but he kept the faith and was used mightily by God in Egypt. I am not saying that we are all Josephs by any stretch of the imagination, but it does lend weight to my boss' arguments. I also started thinking about my experiences in cell groups, most of which is not good. When I think about times in COR with the El-Shaddai cell group, I think I spent more time just trying to fit into the social circle than learning and talking more about Christ and if that is the case the cell group is nothing more than a social club.

Maybe it is just me, but perhaps going alone has its merits. I am relieved of the pressure and distraction of having to fit into the social mold of a cell group. I am not saying that cell groups are bad; I am saying that perhaps cell groups though good for a majority of Christians may not be good for all. My boss chose to go it alone in his walk with Christ, I just might be tempted to do the same.

Chad Vader

A while ago I posted a couple of Star Wars fan films on this blog, namely "Troops" and "Chad Vader". These films have considerable quality, are funny and are done by super dedicated fans of Star Wars with nothing better to do. What I did not realize is that one of these films I posted happen to be the first of a series, so here's presenting "Chad Vader" episode 2 and 3.

P.S. You have to have knowledge of some of Darth Vader's more memorable quotes in Star Wars to understand some of the jokes but nonetheless enjoy!

Episode 2



Episode 3

Open Road

Last week during a meal with Audrey, I asked her a very unusual question. I asked her if I was an approachable person, and she in all the honesty which I have grown to rely on and appreciate, said, "no". Then I asked her if I should change that, that I should make myself more approachable, she said that if I did I would not be "me" anymore, adding that I was a guy who prefers to be distant and thats just the way it is.

Honestly, I was quite uncomfortable with what Audrey said. Not the part that I was unapproachable(I was comfortable that way), but that I should not try to change the way I am. Because I fear that being distant and keeping people at arms length will give people a wrong impression on me. It already has in some cases.

Though I must say I do have a few friends who I am very close to and pour my heart out to in certain times and I take this opportunity to thank them (you know who you are). They are the ones who chose to look past my distant self and approach me to extend the hand of friendship and for that I am grateful. :)

But I guess Audrey was right, I should not make apologies for who I am. God made me, fearfully and wonderfully for His purpose and I should not care about people's impressions on me be it good or bad. That is their problem not mine.

Someone once said that life was like walking on an open road. There are some people you will pass without notice, there are some who you will stop to talk to for a while before going on your separate ways. Then there are some that will walk with you on a certain length of your journey and then turn a different direction when you reach a crossroad and yet there are a few who will take your hand and walk with you together to the end. And if I walked this "open road" being the way I am and not trying to be someone I am not. I will have no regrets, I am ready.

Violence

One of the many things making news recently was the comment made by the pope about Islam. The furor started when the pope quoted Byzantine emperor Manuel Palaiologos the second. The quote was

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

The pope later apologized... well sort of. He said and I quote

"I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages in my address which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims"

Note the careful choice of words in the pope's statement. He is not sorry for what he said, he is sorry that people just happened to be offended by what he said. It is like shooting somebody and being sorry that the person just happen to be in the path of the bullet you fired. In other words, the pope is sticking to what he said. He still believes that Islam is built on violence.

But after all that is being said you would think that muslims around the world outraged by the pope's comments will set out and prove him wrong right? Well... no. This excerpt from an article in the Associated Press says it all.

"Palestinians wielding guns and firebombs attacked five churches in the West Bank and Gaza on Saturday, following remarks by Pope Benedict XVI that angered many Muslims.

In a phone call to The Associated Press, a group calling itself the "Lions of Monotheism" claimed responsibility for those attacks, saying they were carried out to protest the pope's remarks in a speech this week in Germany linking Islam and violence.

Later Saturday, four masked gunmen doused the main doors of Nablus' Roman and Greek Catholic churches with lighter fluid, then set them afire. They also opened fire on the buildings, striking both with bullets."

The irony seems to be lost on them. Here is somebody linking your religion with evil and violence so you decided to respond with violence? Did they ever think that there is another way to protest the pope's remarks other than fire bombing churches? Perhaps hold a peaceful rally or something like that? And what was the pope thinking? Did he think he could get away with a comment like that? Or did he think his statements about Islam would be proven right? Is he right? A bit of food for thought.

Chivalry

Yup, chivalry is dead, but I did not murder it. And it is definitely not Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with a candlestick. (Sorry, couldn't resist. Hahahaha!!!)

While listening to a certain morning radio show I heard the DJs bemoaning the death of chivalry and invited people to SMS their views. One of the SMS messages they read (obviously from a woman) lambasted men for their bottomless egos and called all men MCPs (Male Chauvinist Pigs). I thought to myself, "chivalry is one thing, but calling all men chauvinistic and pigs? Who is the chauvinist now? Definitely not the gender starting with the alphabet 'M'. " Blanket judgments on people just because of a few bad experiences is hardly fair. Just because I know a few annoying people means that all the people I meet are annoying. And people who lay blanket judgments annoy me. :P

But I do know of a few women who try to have their cake and eat it too. They expect to be equals with men(nothing wrong with that) and given preferential treatment at the same time (something wrong with that). I once heard a lady friend (who was in a relationship) of mine commenting, "what's mine is mine, what's his is also mine." I won't comment on the outcome of the relationship the end result should be quite obvious with that kind of mentality, but these are the kind of people that are killing chivalry. People like this turn men off from chivalry.

I guess if we want to resurrect chivalry (if at all possible) women must realize that chivalry is not an entitlement, it is a privilege. Being a women does not entitle you to chivalry, instead, be a woman that a man be can chivalrous to, and feel good about it later. Maybe recognizing that might be the first step.

Sin and Sinners

Okay, I had a case of food poisoning and didn't go to church last weekend. I spent half my day at the toilet and the other half at the net, since I had nothing else to do but to wait for my next trip to the toilet. I stumbled upon something very disturbing. It is called the "God Hates Fags." An anti gay movement base in America founded by Fred Waldron Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church. The video provides an idea of what they are all about.



Now there is no doubt about what the bible says about homosexuality, it is wrong, it is a sin and a sin that goes unforgiven will damm you to hell. But I think there is a critical error in judgement on the part of Mr Phelps. I believe we have to separate the sin from the sinner. I read this article in one of my books that I think serves as a good counterpoint and also serves to make my point. It is titled "No Right To Scorn

I happened to be in Washington, D.C., on a day when 300,000 gay rights activists gathered there to march. The October day was chilly, and gray clouds spit raindrops on the column of marchers snaking through the capital. As I stood on the sidelines directly in front of the White House, I watched a rather remarkable confrontation. About forty policemen, many of them mounted on horses, had formed a protective circle around a small group of Christian protesters. Thanks to their huge orange posters featuring vivid renditions of hellfire, the tiny knot of true believers had managed to attract most of the press photographers. Despite being outnumbered by the gays 15,000 to 1, the protesters were yelling inflammatory slogans at the marchers.

Faggots go home!" their leader screamed into a microphone, and the others took up the chant: "Faggots go home, faggots go home. ..." When that got tiresome, they switched to "Shame-on-you-for-what-you-do." Between chants the leader delivered brimstone sermonettes about false priests, wolves in sheep's clothing, and the hottest fires in hell (which, he said, were reserved for sodomites and other perverts).

"AIDS, AIDS, it's comin' your way" was the last taunt in the protesters' repertoire, and the one shouted with the most enthusiasm. I, along with the protesters, had just seen a sad procession of several hundred persons with AIDS — some in wheelchairs, some with the gaunt and sunken faces of concentration-camp survivors, some covered with purplish sores. Listening to the chant, I could not fathom how anyone could wish that fate on another human being.

The gay marchers themselves had a mixed response to the Christians. The rowdy ones blew kisses or retorted, "Bigots! Bigots! Shame on you!" One group of lesbians got a few laughs from the press by yelling in unison to the protesters, "We want your wives!"

Among the marchers were at least 3000 who identified themselves with various religious groups: the Catholic "Dignity" movement, the Episcopalian group "Integrity," and even a sprinkling of Mormons and Seventh Day Adventists. Over 1000 marched under the banner of the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), a denomination that professes a mostly orthodox theology except for its stance on homosexuality.

This last group had a poignant reply to the beleaguered Christian protesters: they drew even, turned to face them, and sang, "Jesus loves you, this we know, for the Bible tells us so."

The abrupt ironies in that scene of confrontation stayed with me long after I left Washington. On the one side were "righteous" Christians defending pure doctrine. On the other were "sinners," many of whom openly admit to homosexual practice. Yet one side spewed out hate and the other sang of Jesus' love.

I think its time for us Christians to wake up. The very same gospel we use to preach the love and peace of Christ is being used to preach hate and scorn. Although I pray that the gays will one day see the light and turn from their homosexual ways, I also pray that the Westboro Baptist Church and others like it will also see the light, separate the sin from the sinner and once again preach the gospel the way it is meant to be preach. They are the ones doing the real damage, not the gays

Paris Match

"Remember how we started? Remember how we found that feeling?" Sound familiar Dom? Haha! Dom was curious about my MSN nick and I like to take that chance to introduce to you one of my favourite jazz outfits named "Paris Match" based in Japan. They were introduced to me by Stanley, my army friend.

I have never been a fan of Japanese music, even if it was jazz, but there is something about Paris Match that attracted me to their music. They portray a consistent image, naming all of their albums by numbers, avoiding putting too many pictures of themselves in their album prefering to use landscape and imagery instead and they do excellent covers of English pop classics like "Arthur's Theme" and "Lets Stay Together"(My personal favourite), provided you can excuse their bad English.

It seems that whatever they do, be it Bossa Nova, Jazz etc... Their style is still recognizable, they never let the genre of music they are doing consume their creative licence. They have a "Paris Match style." Which blends in seemlessly with any genre of music they do and speaks to their consistency. All in all they are a mature, laid back and musically and technically one of the best bands I have seen of any genre. Too bad you can't get their CDs here, I had to ask a friend to buy it from Korea but there is always P2P file sharing. Hahaha! :P

Here are a list of their albums
1) Volume One
2) PM2
3) Type III
4) Song For You (Christmas Album)
5) Quattro
6) b5 (Flat 5)
7) 5th Anniversary (Special)
8) After Six

PS. Here their site http://www.jvcmusic.co.jp/parismatch/index2.html (its in Japanese)

Jakarta

I admit I was guilty for not posting in this blog that I spent the week that past in Jakarta, for job purposes. It was an educational trip, the traffic was well... I can't comment on the traffic without cursing and swearing so it is best not to. It became immediately apparent that I had to pick up Bahasa Indonesia fast considering the fact that I would be there quite often from now on. Rarely anybody speaks a word of English. Not even in what was suppose to be an international airport, and added to that, what little Bahasa I know is Bahasa Melayu which most of the locals do not understand. So that was for first impressions

On a side note before leaving for Jakarta last week, I wanted to inform my friends about my trip through SMS. I tried spelling Jakarta on the "all powerful" T9 mobile dictionary every handphone on earth has but I simply could not. Jakarta was simply not in the dictionary. I remembered that the word was spelled J-A-K-A-R-T-A, but my phone would have none of it, saying that I was wrong and had to spell the word in manually.

So I thought, "ok, I must have remembered the spelling wrongly." Therefore I turned on my computer and logged on to the "really all powerful" "dictionary.com" and typed in J-A-K-A-R-T-A and lo and behold, my spelling was right. Jakarta simply doesn't exist in my phone. So I got curious and tried to input words like "Singapore", "Taiwan", "Malaysia" into my phone, all of it was there except "Jakarta". The capital of the most populous Musilm nation in the world, you would have thought that at least earned you a place in the dictionary, even if its a phone dictionary.

Indonesia as a nation has been through a lot, terror bombings, tsunamis, earthquakes and fickle minded volcanoes that can't decide went to erupt. But there were no signs of that in Jakarta, it was business as usual. It definitely speaks volumes of the peoples' will to survive and make a living for themsevles. But I can't help but feel that the people in Jakarta are also in denial of whats happening in their country, turning a blind eye to tragedies and trying to go about their business. This is a country that needs God and definitely needs a lot of prayer, though I admit I have no particular burden for Indonesia I do acknowledge the nation's needs and will not hesitate to put my hand to the plow if required.

Issues

I had a very good talk with Audrey on Sunday after church, the first after a very long time and our talk eventually came to issues in church and our Christian lives. We felt that there were certain things in church that weren't quite right, certain things taken to the extreme and where striking a balance is critical. Yes, I know I am sounding ambiguous but what was shared was between me and her, and until we both agree to share the details I guess I will have to keep you in suspense.

The reason I brought this up is because we have decided to do something and start the ball rolling. I know my friends in church, they are good people and have been a good influence in my life. What disturbs me is that they tend to take what the church leadership says unquestionably and at face value. Now don't get me wrong here, I too respect the church leadership and RCC has been good to me ever since I moved there 2 years ago. In fact, my friends in RCC set me right on a lot of things that were wrong in my life whether they know it or not.

RCC means a lot to me, and I fear that if I were to do something in accordance with my spiritual conviction but contrary to the church's so called "manifesto" I would be branded as a rouge or a rebel of sorts which is not what I am trying to be. It is the culture of unquestioned leadership that I fear. Right now I guess we are doing fine but what happens if all the "what ifs" become reality? What if we get bad leadership? Does the culture of unquestioned leadership changed or do we just follow like drones?

I guess I have developed a growing frustration of what I call "assembly line Christianity" where we work the way we are made to work, having no spiritual will of our own. Just because this pastor says this so it has to be true. Just because my leader gave me this advice then it has to be followed. Even the apostle Paul encouraged people reading his epistles to test his teachings against the Word of God and challenged them not to take it at face value. I can only pray that more people will rise to Paul's challenge

Perspective

Aptly titled "Forced Perspective", get it? My blog getsomeperspective? Hahaha! It gives you a "unique" view about things happening in the middle east. The ultimate in sarcarsm.

Invention

My computer broke down on Tuesday, some virus or something. So I sent it for repair expecting to get it back by the next day but I was wrong. I got my back 3 days later. And I suffered in those 3 days. I couldn't play my games, I couldn't check my email, I couldn't chat with my friends on MSN and I couldn't update this blog! All I could do was watch TV and the only thing on was Singapore Idol!!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!! THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!!

For 2 days I watched Gurmit Singh and Daniel Ong (The hosts of the show and very poor hosts at that) desperately reminding Singaporeans that Singapore Idol was a singing competition. And that voters should vote for who they thought was the best singer. But alas their efforts went to waste when a very vocally talented singer (Matilda) got voted off, and this despite her consistently good performances, continuously good feedback from the judges and the fact that according to Flo (1 of the Idol judges), Matilda had no competition vocally. Singing competition or popularity contest? Hmm...

Anyway back to subject, I was lost without my computer. Which really highlighted my dependence on technology, I would be in sorry shape without my handphone and I would hardly survive a 1 hour bus ride without my mp3 player. Hell I even have a PDA with an electronic Bible installed. There is no doubt in my mind that all these new inventions make our life easier, but maybe it is too much of a good thing. In the near future, I reckon that we would allow computers to control everything from nuclear missiles to washing machines. These computers will link together, attain sentience and decide to eradicate the human race... hmm, think I got that idea from a movie. Sounds a bit Terminator(ish).

A wise man once said that we are, "victims of our own inventions". We should listen to him, he has a point.

My First Week

I entered this week with a bit of excitement and trepidation. I went for my first day of work on monday totally not knowing what to expect. But my fears were quickly laid to rest when I met my boss and the people who I will soon call my colleagues. I really thank God for guiding me to making the decision to take up this job offer and not be swept up by what the world defines as a "career." People were calling me crazy for rejecting a $1700 a month job for something $300 lower. Maybe I am.

I took to my new boss and colleagues very well. They were very nice to me and taught me the skills of the trade with the utmost patience. Later I found out that most of my colleagues including my boss who owns the company are christian. There is no feeling of stress, no pressure to learn quickly and perform, I don't come home from work all shagged out but still have energy to do other things like run, shop all play my computer games.

My greatest fear was that my job will become really monotonous really fast but so far that has not happened after one week. Perhaps because everything seems fresh and new to me so I pray that the freshness of the job stays. But still I thank God for guiding me to this job.

Mr. Eugene

Yes! I have left the army. It is now Mr. Eugene and not CPL Eugene. Time to ask God what is the next step, time to seek His divine guidance. In doing so I asked myself a few questions, how did I get to where I am? How did God guide me here, to this point in my life? I couldn't come up with the answer. It is trail and error? Am I complying with His plan in my life? Questions I lost a good amount of sleep over.

Well I don't have a technical answer, but there is an experience I think I should share. I had a lot of difficulty in my job hunt, not that there were no jobs, the economy is booming and everybody is hiring. The difficulty I had was this, I felt that I really had to factor God in the decisions I was making. I went for quite a few job interviews and there were even some who tried to hire me on the spot. The pay, benefits and hours were good but something felt wrong.

But there was this one interview I went to where everything felt right. It is a small company with a small staff, it will hardly make a blip on Singapore's GDP. Although it is a sucessful company holding its own but it will hardly turnover the billions of dollars like the MNCs of the world does. Whats more, there was also nothing remarkable about the time I spent there for the interview, no burning bush to tell me, "THOU SHALL WORK IN THIS COMPANY!" nothing, save this feeling and urging in my heart to accept the position.

But being human, I held out for better offers not wanting to shortchange myself and better offers came. Had I not factored God into my decision I might have gone for those offers, but something held me back. Since I accepted the position I sense this peace, there is something in my heart telling me that I have made the right choice. Although I am no closer to finding out how God guides me through my life I know for certain that in this particular situation He did guide me to make the right choice.

War Mathematics

War, war never changes. There are lots of factors when waging a war. Size of your army, equipment, capabilities, amount of training blar blar blar. Although each war is unique, it almost always goes by a certain formula, a formula so precise it is almost mathematical in nature. And if you were to look at a war through the lens of its formula, it might give you a very different picture than what you are seeing in the news today.

Take for example the conflict in Lebanon, when the capture of two Israeli soldiers did not add up to a prisoner exchange but an invasion. When bombing Lebanon did not add up to a stop or even a slow down in missile attacks in Israel but instead an escalation in the very attacks Israel is trying so hard to stop. What it added up to instead is hundreds of civilian deaths and much sorrow and misery for the people of both sides of the conflict.

Another good example was the war in Iraq. A "just" war which was suppose to "free" the Iraqi people and give them a better way of life instead added up to suffering for the Iraqi people and grieving families in the US. It added up to parents having to bury their children for what looked like a war based on false pretenses, lies and a trigger happy president with an axe to grind you know who. It has lead to moral decay for people personally involved in the war, the Abu Graib scandal being a good example.

The formula I am talking about is the human factor. War is very different when you look at it with your humanity instead of looking at it through tanks, planes and ships or the illusion of "who is right and who is wrong". It suddenly doesn't seem so fun or cool anymore when things go "boom" because when things go "boom", people die. When people die, other people will swear vengence, some of these "other people" will strap themselves with bombs and go "boom" taking more people along with them. Its a vicious cycle.

So the next time when waging war, I suggest we do the math and put the human factor into the equation.

Once I Held The Moon

Once I held the moon a lover's gift
If memory serves me right
Once I owned the sky where moons could drift
And bathe my world in light
I held on to that moon as long as
She was there just holding me
But it means nothing to moons you see

Once I held the moon a lover's ploy
It was not hers to give
This is life she said enjoy
But it wasn't mine to live
I let the moon slip through my fingers
And my love let go of me
But it means nothing to moons you see

They sail through the night and you follow
You hitch up your heart to that moon like a cart
It's all you know how
You're faced with your pride but can't swallow
You lift up your spoon
And you howl at the moon
That it shouldn't have shone
And that you are not sad she has gone

Once I held the moon
And by its light I loved and she loved me
But it means nothing to moons you seen

The Rabbi

There once was a jewish religious student who heard about a rabbi living alone in the desert who was so wise that he could teach a student the meaning of the Torah while the student was standing on one leg. One day, curiousity got the better of him so he decided to look for this rabbi.

After a long and difficult journey, the student found the rabbi in a cave with his camel beside him. "Are you the wise rabbi who can teach me the meaning of the Torah while I am standing on one leg?", the student asked.

"I sure am", answered the rabbi.

"Well can you teach me?", the student asked.

"Sure", the rabbi answered, "stand on one leg."

The student did as instructed. "Well?" he asked.

"Ready?" asked the rabbi.

"Yes!" the student answered, wishing the rabbi would get on with it while trying to keep himself balanced.

"Okay here goes." said the wise rabbi as he clears his throat, "the meaning of the Torah is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might. The rest of it is commentary go read it yourself."

After saying that, the rabbi mounted his camel and left the cave.

The End :)

UN Crisis

I wonder whether if it is the world that has gone to hell or we got better at finding bad news but things in the world seem to be getting worse. War in Lebanon, North Korea launching nuclear capable missiles, Iran trying to go nuclear, bird flu in Thailand, earthquake in Indonesia etc... Although things like earthquakes and disease are quite unavoidable (if it happens, it happens. You just have to deal with it). Most of the crisis we are dealing with are man-made.

I have a few things to say about the war in Lebanon but I will refrain from sharing it because I have a feeling it will come off biased. And I don't want to make it to any terrorist hit list :) But all this man-made crisis and the inability to do anything about them does put into question one thing. The effectiveness of the UN(United Nations) and the UN security council.

No doubt getting the nations of the world to solve the problems of the world through their collective resources is one of the best ideas we have came up with (after millions dead and two of the biggest wars we have ever seen). It seems to me coming from a layman's point of view that the UN security council is divisive, fragmented with member states only interested in serving their own motives and aims, and although the security council has the power to make decisions which member governments MUST carry out under the UN charter. Most members just turn a blind eye to the resolutions that does not suit their political aims. In fact, some of these so called "resolution violators" created the problems we are facing now.

The UN sort of reminds me of the Galactic Republic in Star Wars where political infighting and the selfish aims of its members led to its downfall. The Galactic Republic became the Galactic Empire led by a despotic and cruel leader. Lets pray that the UN does not go that far.

War photos

Here are some photos from my ORD parade and D & D...

OICW

I wrote a post a long time ago about how good we are at making weapons that kill people so well. This just proves my point. It's called the OICW (Objective Individual Combat Weapon). It basically has everything but the kitchen sink installed in it. I certainly don't want to be at the wrong end of one of those weapons, but in the words of a certain "wise" man, "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Go figure...

Day Shift Manager

Another well done and hilarious fan flim

Conflicted

I am now the subject of every NSF's envy. ORD loh, getting my pink IC in two weeks. Happy that things like morning runs, IPPT, SOC, out field etc... is no longer part of my daily routine. I went out for lunch with my company mate Eric yesterday before our ORD D & D and he said, "can you believe it? We are out on a WEDNESDAY! Do you smell that? It is the air of FREEDOM!" What he said was true. The taste of the billy bomber's sirlion steak I was eating did taste especially good on a WEDNESDAY afternoon. I believe it is because the steak had the taste of FREEDOM.

As we spent our last days together as a company thinking back to all the tekan sessions, missions and fun we had, not to mention the stupid things we do when we are shag. I secretly wish in my heart that I could relive those days again (yes, I am crazy, I know). And I am not only talking about the good days, I am talking about the bad days as well. Because it is the experience that counts, the whole package.

To be honest I always complained to God about why He put me in the commandos. But let me put it this way, if experiences are the currency of life then with what I have experienced during my NS. I can safely say that I am clearly richer than most. I have truly been blessed.

The Day Of Days

The irony. I waited 2 years for this very day but find my feelings mixed. Sorrow, happiness, pride, I felt it all. I am talking about my ORD parade. Wearing the number 1 uniform, slow marching down the battalion block as the CO and the entire commando battalion salutes you to thank you for the service to the country and the commando formation.

After the parade, we exchanged hugs and handshakes. I saw my CSM cry for the first time as he was talking to us. We can't help but tear a bit ourselves. I will sure miss my days in 5th company, 1st commando battalion. Best combat unit 05/06, best operational company 05/06. STRIKE TO SILENCE!

Pictures will be coming soon. Today for me was indeed the day of days.

Lameness and Blindness

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."Albert Einstein.

I was quite taken aback when a pastor in my church mentioned in a Sunday sermon that the theory of evolution is a lie. There are heaps of evidence suggesting that every living thing do evolve to suit their different environments, we change and are changing continually that is undeniable. I often fail to understand what is the issue the church has with evolution, it does not explicitly disprove the existence of God at all. Yes there are a lot of people who will take it to the extreme and say dumb things like because we evolve, God does not exist. The theory itself does not state that at all. Yes, I know what some people are thinking. "What about the theory about humans coming from monkeys? Doesn't that run contary to the creation story in the bible?" Scientist have yet to prove that for a fact. They are frantically trying to find what they call "the missing link."So that theory is just that. Theory, not fact.

But that being said, science is not without its flaws as well. The greatest physcist of the modern times, Albert Einstein said, "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. "There are countless flaws and unknowns in science itself, giving an example will cause you to log out of this site immediately. So perhaps we should take Einstein's word for it.

Science and Religion have always been regarded as opposite sides of the same coin, they seem to be forever in conflict. Nevertheless they are part of the same coin, they share a relationship together. One side would not exist without the other. I personally believe that if you want to be religiously schooled, you have to be scientifically schooled and vice versa. I don't think that the church should treat science as an adversary, neither should science try to keep poking holes in religion as I know some famous scientist are. You will only end up lame or blind.

"No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life. "Albert Einstein

Airborne!

There is a saying among Airborne troopers no matter which country you come from, "there is a reason why your wings are worn over your heart." I am going for my last jump this thursday, but it is my first time jumping from a chinook. Pray that God will protect me.

Bang!

Power comes from a barrel of a gun? Hmm... Enjoy!

The Monster & The Abyss Part 2

Well I posted some comments I had about the situation in the middle east inspired by a quote I read from Friedrich Nietzsche which goes like this, "he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." That post attracted some comments written by "Anonymous". Although I know who "Anonymous" is, she wants to remain "Anonymous." This was the exchange we had.

Anonymous wrote, "This post of yours came just in sync :) My friend posed me this question at the beginning of this week: " If God writes in 1 of His laws to not commit murder, why did He justify wars against Israel's enemies?"Maybe you might want to help me to answer this question of his? "

I replied, "Oh. Tough one. Well I am not going to comment on why God justify wars against anybody. Maybe He did, maybe He did not but he is God is has His reasons. But the wars of Israel are not the only ones where the name of God is involved in. Christians in the crusades used it to justify their war. The terrorists today are using it. Perhaps we are misusing the name of God. If that is the case, then Israel is obviously not the only culprits. So perhaps we should not judge what God is doing. We can't even understand the half of His divine purpose. Just have faith that it will work out for good ultimately. By the way, who are you?"

To which Anonymous replied, "I agree with you that God has His ways but I think my friend was talking more about the territory given to Israel and the land He promised to their forefathers to conquer. What about that? Why did God ask them to claim the land and pronounce war in that sense?oh btw forgot to add my identity so I'll leave it as anonymous :p You should know..... "

I think it is a good exchange, which is why I brought it forward to this post. I like to reply to the above comment by saying that

I don't know.

God and God only can give you an answer to that question because He is the only one with the divine perspective. There are a lot of injustices in the world, some of which I dare say are allowed to happen by God Himself, read my post on Job. I don't pretend to have an answer to all the injustices of this world whether done by ancient Israel or by those who are living now. But I do have faith that everything will be made right in the end. God is a good and great God not because the Bible says He is, but because He has PROVEN Himself to me that He is good and great. So live your life in His will and leave the universe running to Him.

By the way, anybody else got any other comments, I will be happy to hear them.

PS. There is no need to be so mysterious Anonymous. Please sign in next time. Ha! Ha! Ha!
:p

This is good

The Monster & The Abyss

I was watching Steven Spielberg's "Munich" a while back and in the scene where the top ministers of Israel were deciding whether to go after the terrorist responsible for the massacre at the Olympics, the then prime minister of Israel Golda Meir said, "We have been treated brutally in history, therefore we have to be brutal in order to survive." After that she gave the green light to go ahead with the operation.

It is sad that a single race of people have been singled out and treated so brutally throughout history. What makes things worse is that this race of people now think that they have the right to treat others with that same brutality. The saddest thing of all is that this people are God's chosen, holy and set apart.

Friedrich Nietzsche once said that, "he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Therefore when you are fighting an enemy, you have to be careful not to become the enemy yourself because that will defeat the purpose of fighting in the first place. A classic example of this happening is in the middle east where Israel is fighting terrorism with terror, murder with murder, cruelty with cruelty and the list goes on. Other than a few overtures of peace, there appears to be no end to this vicious cycle. Israel has effectively lowered themselves to the level of the very terrorist they are trying so hard to fight. They are becoming terrorist themselves. Israel has become the monster they are fighting.

We here in sunny Singapore can do nothing but pray that God will do something to improve the circumstances in that troubled region. But while we do that, maybe there is a new tactic we can try to combat the evils of this world. We can fight terrorism with love and understanding, murder with forgiveness, cruelty with mercy and the list goes on. That might just be the difference maker.

Yup... I am still here

Well this post is to reassure you guys that I am still alive. And I am still updating this blog. Sadly I am having some kind of writer's block and can't seem to find anything to write about. Right now I am going through some bilateral training with the Thai special forces in camp and we are going to an exercise tomorrow. Now those are the true blue soldiers. More on that on later post I hope, provided I can shake off this writer's block.

Got a new MP3 player, an Iriver H10 with a recording and playback function. My Creative MP3 which has been serving me well for the past 4 years burned. Thinking of experimenting with podcasts. But the Iriver USB cable seems to be damaged so I can't upload and download any files now (the annoying things with electronics), we shall see how that goes. Until next time!

My new MP3 player

The Calling

This must be my most honest post yet. So I guess it is best to get to the point. Whenever the question of God's calling in my life comes up one verse in the bible stands out over anything else. Matthew 23:37. It reads

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing"

That verse when it was first read to me stood out like a sore thumb, for lack of a better expression. I could almost feel God's lament and sorrow through the verse which weighed heavily on my heart. I feel that God wants to gather Israel back into His fold again. Yet I have not a clue what to do with it or how I was to proceed. With the future uncertain as it is, I feel that I should pray for confirmation and pray this calling into my life. Why?

There is a Talmudic quotation that says, "whoever saves one life saves the world entire." Christ echoes the same thing when He said in the bible, "when you do it for the least of my brothers, you do it for me." Both make the point that the smallest action can make a world of difference, so I guess if I believe (and I do believe) that this is a God given burden in my life I should just pray and let God guide and work through me to bring it to pass.

Fear

They say that the greatest fear is the fear of the unknown. If that is true, I should be shaking in my legs with my pants down. Why do I say that? Well, since my university applications are down the drain and certain financial considerations, life after my national service has become a big question mark. So I am basically swimming in uncharted waters here. I guess I have good reason to fear the unknown.

So being a Christian, I turned to the only one I know can help me. God. Why? Because He is the only one who has produced the best results. Therein lies the complication, I always have a lot of difficulty following what I believe God wants me to do because I am unsure that that is Him speaking at all. What if God did not say what you think He said? Sometimes I honestly wish that God will appear in front of me and give me instructions of what he wanted me to do. Unfortunately thats not how God works.

Perhaps listening to God requires a balance of discernment and faith, discernment to recognize the voice of God and faith to have the guts to do what God tells you to do. Simple? It is, but I seem to find simplicity very hard to attain

The Great Rat Hunt

Yesterday night at my bunk, I was awoken at midnight to find my bedframe moving. At first I thought I was part of one of those army ghost stories but nothing could be further from the truth. The moving of my bedframe was followed by cries and screams of, "RATS! RATS!" After shaking off the cobwebs I discovered that my bunk mates found a rat running around the bunk and wanted to capture it. So began 1 CDO BN 5th Coy Det 2 vs the rat. Here is the low-down.

The rat took us entirely by surprise.
Score. Rat (1) ; Det 2 (0)

The rat made 12 grown manly men scream and whine like girls.
Score. Rat (2) ; Det 2 (0)

It took 12 men 45 minutes to catch a single rat. Mostly because we were trying to catch the rat and run away from it at the same time, which complicates matters. I hope you understand, it was quite huge and we were scared.
Score. Rat (3) ; Det 2 (0)

The rat was responsible for the instant remodeling of the bunk. Mostly because we were throwing pieces of furniture around to either block the rat's way or get it out of our way. It was messy.
Score. Rat (4) ; Det 2 (0)

The rat die, but it did not die in vain. It died a matyr. Now all rat-kind knows how easy it is to topple mankind from its place as the dominant species on the earth. They are now making plans to that effect.
Score. Rat (5) ; Det 2 (0)

Suffice it to say the rats won. I fear for the human race.

Total Perspective Vortex

"The Total Perspective Vortex, in the fictional world of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is the most horrible device to which a sentient being can be subjected. Located on Frogstar World B, it shows its victim the entire unimaginable infinity of the universe with a very tiny marker that says "You Are Here" which points to a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot. The machine was originally invented by one Trin Tragula in order to annoy his wife. Because she was forever nagging him for having no sense of proportion, he decided to invent something that would show her what having a sense of proportion really meant. Unfortunately the shock of being placed in the Vortex destroyed her brain, but Trin Tragula's grief was tempered by the knowledge that he had been right and she had been wrong. The Total Perspective Vortex had proved that in an infinite universe the one thing sentient life cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion."
commentary on Douglas Adams' Book "The Restaurant at the end of the Universe"

Imagine this. I am a tiny microscopic speck of dust on a planet called Earth which is a tiny microscopic speck of dust in a galaxy. The galaxy in turn, is just one galaxy among the countless millions in the universe. From this perspective, I do not think I am worthy of the attention of the God who actually created the seemingly infinite universe I live in, in fact I think it might be quite forgivable if he actually forgot me. Instead of being in the center of the universe, I am actually at the point which is furthest from it. No wonder when Douglas Adams was creating a torture device for his book, he created one which tells us where we stand in the universe, insignificant and pathetic. But get this.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

The God who created this universe loved us so much he was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for us. We who are so insignificant with regards to the universe he created, and not to mention rebellious. Perhaps Douglas Adams was wrong, we can afford to have a sense of proportion, it is in fact very healthy I think. Especially when I have a God who loves me to death... Literally.

They Can't Take That Away From Me

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No, no, they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No, no, they can't take that away from me
We may never, never meet again on on the bumpy road to love
Still I'll always, always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced 'til three
The way you've changed my life
No, no, they can't take that away from me

No they can't take that away from me

More Than Words

Lost for words? Yup me too...
:)

Passover

The Passover Seder

Lots of people wrongly assume that since we are in the period of the new convenent, most of the things that are in the old testament are obsolete. When I tell some of my Christian friends I was doing a Passover they asked, "Passover? What is that?" It is sad but true that something so significant and important in both the Christian and Jewish faiths is being neglected by us Christians.

Do Christians know about the story of Passover? Do Christians know that the first holy communion ever conducted was conducted on Passover which was recorded in the Gospels? If we do not know the answers to those two questions then I think we are missing a very important part of our Christian faith. Therefore I encourage everyone to be curious not only about the Passover but the rest of the Jewish festivals. I pray that you will see God's plan of salvation for you and the rest of the human race in it.

Code scmode

I have been bombarded many times with questions like this, "is the Da Vinci code real? What do you think of the gospel of Judas?" The very concept of Christianity seem to be in question with recent historical "revelations" of what actually happened in the closing periods of the life of Christ and whether he had left descendants on earth.

So how should we as Christians react to this onslaught? I have a few suggestions. Firstly, I don't think we should fear these so called revelations. As the rabbi Gamaliel (Gamaliel is the teacher of the apostle Paul) said in Acts 5:38,

"For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail."

The fact is that throughout history there has been countless amount of people or groups who try to question what was written in the Bible. Some of them fell from grace when they were discovered to be fakes, others just simply faded away with time. The point is that the Bible has survived such onslaughts and will continue to survive them in future. Heaven and earth will pass away but the Word of God will live on forever.

Secondly, we should not be surprised that such things are happening because Paul put it in no uncertain terms in 2 Timothy 4:3 & 4 that,

"the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths"

Paul also provides the solution to this problem in 2 Timothy 4:2,

"preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction"

and in 2 Timothy 4:5,

"keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry"

so let the so called experts argue what they like about these matters, we must not let these matters bother us such that we cannot do the work that the living God has instructed us to do.

Lastly, whatever gospels you might have read whether in the bible or not, keep in mind that the most important gospel is the gospel of YOU. You are the salt and light for God, you must shine for Him so that more will come to know His love and His salvation. The Bible is as good as dead if the people of God are not there to live it, to live by its standards and make it come alive. Only through the gospel of YOU that your friends, family and people you know will come to know the Bible, the Matthew, Mark, Luke, John etc... And the Christ that loves them so much that He is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice no matter what people like Dan Brown might say.

Code scmode.

Priceless

Nasi lemak at Changi Village: $2.50

Sugar cane drink: $1.00

Empty beer bottle: $0.00

Photo of Dominic allegedly smoking and boozing away: priceless

The Experience of a Lifetime

People and friends I meet in the civilian world sometimes tell me, "wah! Commando ah. Can jump airborne, can do so many other things that normal NS men cannot do. You have an experience of a lifetime, you should cherish it" Well I don't disagree but this is what happened when I share this opinion to one of my army mates, "f**k you! If they think it is so easy and fun then ask them to do lah. I will gladly let one of them take my place." I was taken aback by the strength of the response but I know what he means.

We as human beings are always not satisfied with where we are. We always have the "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality because when we look at the life of another person, we see all the pros and not the cons. But when we see our own life, we see all the cons and not the pros. That is why I thank God for people and friends that put me back in perspective and help me see some of the pros in my life. Yes, although the training is hard and it is not easy as my army mate so blatantly put it but I have learnt to cherish these experiences and draw lessons from them. These are the things money can't buy.

The Poly vs JC Debate

I was reading the day's Strait's Times and came across an article addressing the recent JC vs Poly Debate. It was apparently started by a JC student who posted his thoughts on the matter on a forum of a popular MMORPG game called "Maple Story". Whatever that transpired since then is a matter of public record which you can read for yourself and form your own opinion. The article I read was titled "It's no secret who is better". In it the author writes

I hate to be blunt, but JC students are better than polytechnic students, period. Politically incorrect I may sound, but here are the facts. Entry requirements at JCs are far more stringent than those at polys. As a result, large numbers of students who do not make the cut for JCs are "forced" to opt for a poly education. Those who enter polys of their own choice remain the exception, rather than the rule.

Also, when the Public Service Commission awards scholarships to Singapore's best and brightest, they look to JCs, not polytechnics.. Yes polys have improved in recent years, but there is still a long way to go before the average poly student matches up to the average JC student. Sad to say, but this is an open secret.

First of all I would like to state that I am a poly graduate and proud of it. Second I believe the perceptions and assumptions of the author are to say the least flawed. Given that admission requirements for JCs are more stringent than the poly's, there is nothing to prove that the quality of education is any different. There is also nothing to prove that the stringent admissions have any relevance to the quality of a person's character or intelligence. The JCs have their fair share of bad eggs too.

The author also mentioned how in awarding scholarships, the Public Service Commission only looks to the JCs and not the polys. Well, there are other scholarships that look for "Singapore's best and brightest" (in the author's own words) in the polys and/or the ITEs and not the JCs. So I guess that the line of comparison between them is not so well defined as the author thinks it to be.

On a more moral front, I personally think that it is wrong to degrade and demean genuine hard working people looking for an education whether they are from the poly, JC or ITE. A hardworking student is a hardworking student be it in the poly, JC or ITE and a screw up is a screw up no matter where he or she is schooling. Yet true and untrue it is still wrong to say that one is inferior to another. Especially when there is a chance that these very same people might be the people you are working with in future.

All my years in school taught me to keep an open mind. Education is not everything, a JC student can just as easily screw up his life as a poly or ITE student stringent entry requirements or not. If the author is dead set on his or her opinion on the matter despite evidence to the contrary. One would wonder what the years of education have actually taught him or her.

Stardust

And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky, the little stars pine
Always reminding me that we're apart

You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a love that cannot die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by.

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely nights
Dreaming of a song
That melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song

Beside a garden wall
Where stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells its fairy tale
Of paradise where roses grew
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain.

Barabbas

Give us Barabbas!

Much has been said about Christ on the cross but little has been said about the one He replaced. Yes, I am talking about Barabbas, the notorious criminal that the Jews of the day released in place of Christ while Pilate was trying to rescue Jesus using a Passover tradition of releasing prisoners. Pilate did not expect the crowds to want to crucify Jesus so much that they were willing to release so notorious a criminal as Barabbas.

I often wonder why it was necessary for Barabbas to be in the picture of the crucifixion story. Christ could be crucified on Pilate's orders without the need for Barabbas. In fact Pilate has crucified numerous others prior to this, so why the need for Barabbas? Why did God put Barabbas in the picture? I guess the very act of replacement of Barabbas to Christ on the cross indicates that Christ did not deserve the cross and that He did it in place of a sinful man.

I guess Barabbas represents us to a certain extent. We all deserve the fate of the cross, we all like Barabbas had no way out initially but to await that very fate. But Christ came and replaced us. He was nailed to the cross that we were meant to be nailed to, He suffered the punishment that we were meant to suffer. I just can't help it but be thankful. Praise God.

Saying Grace

The Good Friday season never fails to remind us that we were bought over by God at a hefty price. Each of us carries a price tag around our necks not containing a moneytary amount represented by dollars and cents but a price tag that is simply labelled "The blood of the Lamb." If you ask me I would us that we were overpriced, far too expensive and not worthwhile to buy, but God was moved by His unconditional love to actually pay the price and bought us over.

I never seem to be able to grasp that fact of the price God paid for me so wretched a sinner but on this good friday a thought occured to me that did not occur to me previously. Each time when my family has dinner together we say grace as all christians do. But as I sat at the table and prepared myself for the customary grace before dinner one day, I felt that I had more to thank God for than the food on the table. As I think back, I got reminded that saying grace before dinner was not exactly a custom in my family just 1 or 2 years back when I was the only christian in my family.

But now I thank God for the fact that I can now say grace for the food at the dinner table together with my family who are all now saved by the saving grace of Christ. And all these because of a saviour who died on the cross for me, my family and the rest of the world. Saying grace at the dinner table will never be the same again.

That is the question

Written in Thailand 010406 2240Hrs

During my final week in Thailand, I had a lot of reading time. So besides cramming my head for the Passover research I am doing with Dominic I have been reading a book written by Philip Yancey titled "I was just wondering." The book contained a selection of past articles he had written for the magazine called "Christianity Today." In the book, Philip touched on today's social, moral and religious problems but he does not seek to provide a solution or an answer to it. He only asks more questions. Reading the book I wondered whether it was wise to add more questions in what is already a growing melting pod of sociatal woes yet I found the book strangely insightful and a delightful read. It gives you the feeling that someone has the answers if only we know who look for.

So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? In the book "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a race of super advanced trans-dimensional beings tried to find the answer to "Life, Universe and Everything." To that effect they spend a huge amount of resources and time to build a super duper computer to compute the answer, they called it Deep Thought. After five million years of computing for an answer, Deep Thought came up with an answer that totally did not make sense. When asked about the answer, Deep Thought said that the answer did not make sense because they did not have the question in the first place.

I guess there is a moral to that story. So which is more important? Is it the answers or the questions? Is the question just as important as the answer? Answers can be wrong, but the only wrong question is the one you don't ask. Wisest is he who knows that he does not know. Should we ask more questions? I was just wondering.

Job

Written in Thailand 250306 2025Hrs:

There has been a rather anti-climatic end to my ATEC in Thailand. During our final battalion mission, one company was moving through a cultivated plot of land, which we do all the time. The farmer of the land thought they were thieves or something took out a shotgun and shot them, wounding 2 people in the process. As a result, the entire exercise was scraped and everybody headed back to camp.

Now the future is uncertain, rightfully we were suppose to finish our ATEC in Thailand and come back to Singapore happily having a sense of pride that all our hard work paid off. But as it is we are left hanging. Some say that we will redo the exercise back in Singapore, others say that we will just extract the results from the missions we have performed thus far. But now it seems to me that all the hard work put into this current ATEC in Thailand is being called into question. An undeserved fate to say the least.

Coincidentally, I have been doing a study on Job who also, due to circumstances beyond his control did not get what he deserved. He in fact came off much worse than original. The book of Job calls into question what was suppose to be the ultra biblical doctrine of reaping what you sow. But sometimes the maths just don't add up, bad things happen to good people, hard work produces nothing etc... It seems insurbordinate to call God into account for such things but Job did. He lashed out at God with all guns blazing and God did not fault him for it. On the other hand, did God provide an answer to Job's predicament? No, when God appeared, He totally avoid the subject and went on ranting about the glories of His creation.

But what I felt was most important was that God's appearance was enough for Job which fell short of his earlier demands for an explanation from God. If only I had the faith that Job had, that the mere sight of God in my current circumstances would be enough for me no matter what happens instead of complaining about how this that happened just sucks to the core.

The book of Job does not provide an answer to all the unfairness in the world, all the sufferings and undeserved fates. It only adds more questions to it, but it does provide another way to approach it, An approach that require good old faith in God that despite what happens we know we have a good and all powerful God on our side. Nothing is impossible for Him. On a side note, I don't think I remember hearing a sermon having been preached on Job. Perhaps that mist change.

ORD Loh!

Written in Thailand 240306 1000Hrs:

Yes put these three alphabets together in this order and they will be the favourite alphabets of any NSF soldier. It's time to get on with civilian life and once again pursue your dreams whatever that me be. But there are strings attached, requirements you will have to fulfill in order to leave the army without any problems. Here is a list.

1) Clear IPPT
2) Clear 9 minute SOC
3) Clear unarmed combat course
4) Clear airborne jumps
5) Buy a new handphone
6) Get a girlfriend

Don't ask me where the last two came from but it seems to be happening everywhere in my company. People getting attached or reattached with girlfriends old or new sporting shining new handphones with pictures of them. Corney as it is it does show one thing, my company mates are starting to make preparations for their next phase in life. University applications, job hunting, or simply just deciding what to do after the army you name it, people are moving on. Even here in dreary Thailand people are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the last battalion mission just hours away.

All these developments begs the question, "what have I done to prepare myself for life after the army?" Sure I applied to the university, make a few inquires about job offers but to the observer my preparations might seem half hearted at best. Should I be worried? Yes Am I worried? Strangely no.

Looking inward I did ask myself why I was not worried despite my apparent lack of preparation. Was I so disinterested and ignorant about life? Then I began to worry, worried that I am not worried. The irony. But suddenly like an answer to my ramblings, a song by Jars of Clay came to mind.

There's more that rises in the morning then the sun
And more that shines in the night then just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

There is more to each day than just the passing of time, God is there everyday looking out for my every single need. The song goes on.

If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will see me through
If I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You

I am not perfect, but God has provided me with His promises to stand on, and His grace to fall back on. I being human can only do so much. But if I depend on God, I know I am being looked after.

Looking back at my 2 years in the army. My relationship with God has not been exactly rosy. I was just barely hanging on which is my only regret because I wasted 2 years whereby I could grow deeper and know God better instead of just treading water and not moving anywhere. But that does not mean God has not been faithful. He never failed to fulfill His promises and was never too slow to offer His grace and mercy everytime I fall. So what has changed? Nothing! I worship a God that stays the same no matter what and a God who saw it fit to make me His son and all the perks that entails. So should I worry? I think the answer speaks for itself.

Exercise Blue Thunder

Yes finally. After one entire month in Thailand I am back. The next few posts were written in Thailand and my experiences there. During my stay in Thailand, I was thinking about what right I have to occupy your time to read all the posts I have written. Fact is I have no right at all, which humbles me all the more to know that I have friends who care so much about my life to read about it. So as long as people will keep reading, I will keep writing. Enjoy!

Going to war?

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish.... For Now...

Unfortunately I will off to Thailand for one month and won't be able to update this blog till about the 2nd of April. Nevertheless I will bring my trusty journal along and update that, hopefully I will get some good blog posts out of that when I come back. I apologize for the inconvenience but don't panic, I will be back.

Sloth

Today, I was taking the bus back home after running some errands buying stuff I will need for my Thailand trip. Seated in front of me was a guy who had a earphone on, so one would logically assume he was listening to music or something like that. Logic is such a lair. Why do I say that? Well here is what happened. His handphone rang, so he reached into the bag he was carrying and took out his phone. One would again assume he would answer the phone, put the phone on his ear and say, "hello" right? Wrong again. Instead he took out his phone, attached it to the earphone adaptor and answered his phone. It turns out that he was not listening to music with the earphones he had on, instead it was his phone's handsfree kit.

Why is this significant? Well I think it is very scary when putting a phone to your ear to answer it requires too much effort. The original purpose of a handsfree kit is to enable a driver to talk on the phone even if he is driving. Little did we know that now the handsfree kit is now a device that encourages laziness. We live in a world obsessed with making our lives easier, a bit too obsessed I think, so much so that we have become lazy because of it. Stuff like the remote control, fast food home delivery, the escalator and so on have made us slothful, It is down right wrong, it is a sin in fact and with the increasing rates of obesity in the world, I am not sure that encouraging sloth is a good idea. Am I saying that we should do away with those things? No, but we should be wise about the way we use these things, they provide conveniences, they are not suppose to encourage sloth.

As the saying goes, we make the world that make us. So pehapes we are asking for it making a world like that. But I don't believe we do not have a choice, we always have a choice about the way we live our lives, so I guess my takeaway from this little encounter on the bus is to choose wisely. With that said, I am going for a run, a long one.

SOC

The infamous 1.5 KM SAF SOC (Standard Obstacle Course) is a yearly bane for all SAF personel holding a combat vocation. It is also one of the things that convinces me that the world is fair, some are just more fair than others. Why do I say that? Well I have seen people literally just laughing through the entire thing, thinking nothing of it, flying through the obstacles like poetry in motion. Passing the under 9 minute timing is nothing to these kind of people, some of which finish the course in under 8 minutes. Then there are people like me, who need nothing short of divine intervention to pass. The world is fair.

I took my SOC test last week, not expecting to pass. The conditions were bad, the weather sucked, I was not feeling all that well and I was under alot of pressure. Our OC wanted all of us in the company to pass before we went to Thailand for ATEC and I wanted to only suffer the evils of the SOC only once and did not want to run it again. In the words of my CSM, "Do it once, do it good."

I tried to get my head in the game at the start line, visualizing each obstacles along the way, saying a quick pray to God for strength and that whatever happens, it will be according to his will. On the word GO! my detail started running. At the very next moment I was at the finish line with everything happening in between a blur. Looking at my watch I went, "WOW! I actually passed!" The world is fair. If it is not I can be sure that I have a God who loves me and looks out for my interest no matter what. All things do indeed happen for the good of those who love Him.

F**K!

There is something about army and Cursing. This thing not only exists in the SAF I think, but in most armies around the world. What convinced me of that fact is the movie "Jarhead" If I had a dollar for every "f" word uttered in the movie I would be a very rich man.

"Jarhead" was a good movie, not fantastic, just good. I liked the part where Jake talks about the man and his rifle. It goes something like this.

"A man gets his rifle and learns how to use it. And whatever he does after that, buy a house, love a woman, drive a car, he will still not forget the feeling of the rifle in his hands."

Although it is an American movie, I find that it portrays the NSF mentality very well. There is this scene near the end of the movie whereby Jake tells Troy, "it's funny, you would do anything to stay in and I would do anything to get out." That quote is especially true in my case because I would do anything to get out but I know of army regulars who would do anything to get into where I am today.

The movie also portrays the aftermath of service in the army, whereby the army drops you off at the exact spot in your civilian life at which you joined it and leaves you wondering whether you are a better man for all the shit you have been through or worse. Still you try to pick up the pieces but it is never the same, you find yourself in crisis, caught in between a clash of the military and civilian worlds.

But back to the cursing, I know one army friend who has the ability to spout curses two minutes long insulting all your ancestors three generations upwards. I once asked him why he has to curse so much, he answered and I quote, "what the f**k! With all the f**king things happening around me I think I earned the right to f**king curse!" I took a look at everything happening around me at that moment, I think he has a point.

Valentine's Day

This will officially be my twenty second Valentine's day being single, for some it will be a painful event because they do not have anybody to spend it with. For me, I have an excuse. I am doing COS duty in camp. Ha. Anyway this is for you singles out there, hope this will make you feel better.

Nobody's Heart
Lyrics by Lorenz Hart, music by Richard Rodgers
Nobody's heart belongs to me,
heigh-ho, who cares?
Nobody writes his songs to me,no one belongs to me.
That's the least of my cares.

I may sad at times,and disinclined to play,
but it's not bad at times,
to go your own sweet way.

Nobody's arms belongs to me,
no arms feel strong to me.
I admire the moon, as a moon, just a moon

Nobody's heart belongs to me today.

This song is a jazz classic that in a sense promotes singlehood but it also presents a glimmer of hope that one day the singer might find the one he/she will be together with. Enjoy.

By the way, Valentine's day came about because of a defiant priest called (you guessed it) Valentine, who continued to marry loving couples even though the Pope banned marriages because people were getting married and not joining the army. He was executed(How romantic). A very long time later he was bestowed sainthood and 14 February became the day of his feast.